Doctor Visit Today

So here's the short of it,
So I have something called myopathy.


And here's the long

When I called in with my symptoms today, Lori asked me to come in and get checked out. She checked me over thoroughly and found high blood pressure, good oxygen saturation, and was concerned about my being weak and out of breath after just a short walk across the room. I saw Dr. Schlabach and he checked me out pretty thoroughly. He had me test my strength pushing and pulling against his arm with my toes, feet, legs, knees, hands, arms, and shoulders. He believes that I have developed myopathy from the steroids that have to be given with the Taxotere.

Apparently Taxotere has to be given in a solution which can cause aniphylaxis - so it has to be given with pre-medication steroids. And the steroids are in all likelihood causing this myopathy. It is primarily causing muscle weakness in the muscles originating in my pelvic region - and for walking that would be, I suppose, my thigh and gluteus muscles. When Dr. Schlabach asked me to push against him with my knees - in any direction - I had hardly any strength at all. Apparently he expects that I will regain my strength, but is concerned enough to be thinking about changing the Taxotere for something else for my last two treatments. I'll also be having an echocardiogram before my next treatment so that we can rule out any heart function problems.

I've been sleeping off and on most of the afternoon since I got back. Dr. Schlabach scolded me about not eating or drinking enough, so I've made a concerted effort to drink and eat this afternoon. Alan stopped on the way home and got me a big unsweetened tea from Sonic, and I managed to drink it all!

I am feeling very relieved to know what's causing the weakness. While I was at the doctor's office, I got blood work done, and my white blood counts are way down. So I suppose I'm staying home at least until I'm back on Wednesday for my Herceptin treatment and more blood work.

So Weary

So here's the short of it,
I have NO stamina.

And here's the long

I am having some of my diarrhea and nausea symptoms today. Medication is helping keep them manageable. The biggest difference this treatment cycle is how I have absolutely no energy at all. If I walk twenty or thirty steps, I feel like I've run a half mile or more. My legs get weak, I break out in a cold sweat, and my heart starts beating like crazy. I'm sleeping most of the time - but that's no different really. Twice I've taken Sophie out, to see if she can run off some energy. By the time I would get to the chair out back I could hardly lower myself into it! But Sophie wouldn't run around because I was just a lump in the chair; she got no energy run off at all! Thankfully, Liga took her out this evening for a bit and gave her a chance to play a bit. I'm going to call the doctor's office tomorrow and just make sure that it's within normal expectations.

So this isn't very long for the long of it, but it's the best I can do tonight.

Very Weak Today

So here's the short of it,
My symptoms have not been horrific today, but I'm very weak.

And here's the long

My symptoms have been bearable today, but I have been so weak! Just a slow walk to the kitchen and I feel like I've run a marathon. My heart races, I break out in a sweat, and I get light headed. I've spent most of the day on the sofa once again, napping off and on.

I'm having more nausea than I have before, but the medicine is keeping it calm. I suspect that the medicine is part of the reason I've been so sleepy as well.

I'm hoping to feel stronger tomorrow.

Sleep

So here's the short of it,
I've been napping most of the day and the diarrhea has started.

And here's the long

I've spent most of the day napping on the sofa with the TV on and Sophie watching out for me. My Mom and Aunt Joyce and Valdis stopped by and she made sure that she was right between me and them until she figured out they were OK. The sofa is really close to the bathroom so that has been good.

I'm not feeling awful, but I think the big anti-nausea medicine that I take for two days after the Chemo treatment makes me very sleepy. The really awful is still to come - if it's coming. Even though I've slept most of the day, I think I'll sleep most of the night. I've just taken some additional anti-nausea medicine and it always makes me sleepy.

I know that these drugs are killing cancer cells, and I am grateful for the opportunity to be treated. Thanks to everyone for your positive thoughts and prayers.

Good news on Dad's progress. Check out his blog.

So here's the short of it,
I'm very tired, but my huge symptoms haven't kicked in yet.

And here's the long

I am very tired and have mostly laid around all day today. Sophie has kept me company. Mom stopped by to check on me, once by herself and once with Aunt Joyce, and Sophie gave her throaty woof and came over to stand next to me to make sure no one was going to bother me.

My horrible symptoms haven't kicked in yet, but Alan has reported that my face is red and swollen - a new development for sure. I've got heartburn which my night medicine should take care of in just a bit, and I'm really ready to sleep for a bunch of hours!

When Mom stopped by late this morning she had great news about Dad which you can catch on their blog. You can also check out the blog Debdave forPat's sister to check on her latest news. Her surgery went well, and the wait now is for pathology results.

I'm holding on - I am so happy to have reached the 2/3 mark in my treatments. Once these are over, I think I'll be able to manage the weekly Herceptin treatments pretty well. I know I haven't even thought yet about radiation. I think I'll keep it that way until that time comes.

Thanks to everyone for your positive thoughts and prayers.

Celebration and Prayers

So here's the short of it,
Today's Chemotherapy treatment makes me 2/3 of the way through my series of Taxotere and Carboplatin.

And here's the long

My doctor's appointment went very well today. Dr. Schlabach explained that Taxotere, which is the drug that has such harsh side effects, is one of the Chemotherapy drugs that does not have lasting effects. I'm sure he had told me this before, but I just processed it today. I'm especially pleased because one of the problems that many of the drugs cause is heart damage. And that is certainly more important than any of the others. So when the hard stuff happens this time, I'll just remember that Taxotere is really my friend! So today is a celebration that I'm 2/3 of the way through my Chemo treatments, and that side effects are only temporary.

Once I got to the infusion part, there was a problem! My port wasn't doing what it was supposed to do. In order to use the port for Taxotere, it has to "give blood". They have to be able to get blood out as well as push medicine in. This is only necessary for the Taxotere. Well, it never would work. When Lori tried to get blood, the syringe just acted like it encountered a dead end and popped, like a vacuum had formed. Let's see - she explained that Taxotere can cause really bad sores and other horrible side effects if for some reason it pools or doesn't go exactly where it's supposed to. So I got to have an IV for my Taxotere in my right hand! She ran all my pre-meds, the anti-nausea, steroids, and whatever else through my port, and then the Taxotere in my IV. The plan was to then switch back to the port for my Carboplatin and my Herceptin, but I fell asleep and Lori didn't want to wake me, so the Carboplatin went through the IV as well. By the time I woke, she decided just to finish the Herceptin that way as well.

Next week when I go in, I'll go early enough to have a flouroscopic x-ray to see what's going on with the port. Apparently sometimes the body thinks it's something to fight and creates a fibrin which may have to be removed either by dissolving it or snaring it. This is not the first time the port hasn't wanted to cooperate, but Lori has always gotten it to aspirate before. I hope whatever it is, it's an easy fix.

I am doing OK tonight. I'm having the predictable hot flashes and cold chills, but I'm fine this evening. Sophie got to go outside for a bit tonight because the neighborhood girls took her for a bit of a walk - that was really nice.

Here's a bit of family information I want to share. Debbie is Pat's (my sister-in-law) baby sister. A couple of weeks ago she went to the emergency room because of abdominal pain. In running tests to try to determine what was causing the problem, they found a tumor on her pancreas. Apparently only 10% of pancreatic cancers are operable, and hers was! In addition the location of it made it an operation that would only take about 2 and 1/2 hours instead of a more complicated location that would take 10 hours and disturb more internal organs. Her surgery was today in Atlanta at Emory Hospital. It will be a week before the pathology reports are back. Join our family in prayers for Debbie.

Exhausted and getting ready for Chemo

So here's the short of it,
I was exhausted after work today.

And here's the long

I came home from work today and made it no further than the back sofa. (I come in the house through the back door). I guess I slept for 2 1/2 hours. I'll be eager to hear more about my blood counts tomorrow. I'm wondering if my low platelet counts could be what's making me so tired. Or maybe it's just because I'm not really sleeping well at night.

Anyway, dear friends brought dinner by, so I haven't had to exert myself at all! I made it outside to let Sophie have her evening social time. She is growing and becoming much less timid from her opportunities to socialize with neighbor dogs, people, and of course her time outside playing with Lola (our cat). They are really beginning to come to a living arrangement. Lola is sure to let Sophie know who is in charge when she gets a little out of hand.

I had an opportunity to see Dad today. He looks like he is doing better. His pressure is down to 8 and his supplemental oxygen is at 30. Dr. Brice, the surgeon who takes care of his pressure wound, told Mom today that getting him of the ventilator remains the most pressing medical problem he has. Getting him off the ventilator will positively impact all his other medical issues.

My 4th big Chemotherapy treatment is tomorrow afternoon. I see the doctor and have lab work and then have my infusions. It is taking much less time now that they can see that I'm not having any horrible reactions at the time of the infusion. I should be OK tomorrow night. Well, if it's like the times before, I will probably have alternating hot flashes and chills, and my taste will be absolutely gone, but I'll be generally OK. After that I'm going to just live in the moment and not have any great expectations for how good or bad things will be.

I may sound ambivalent, but I am extremely grateful to live in a time when chemotherapy is available and I can have it to help defeat this cancer.

Surprise, Surprise

So here's the short of it,
I had a couple of lovely surprises today.

And here's the long

I worked a full day today. I was tired, but it was good to be able to focus on work and take my mind off the coming treatment. I was walking back down the hall from making a quick lunch run and coming up the stairs was one of my cancer sisters who is further enough along the pathway to have grown back a beautiful, full head of hair! She had a bag of goodies - the things that she had been able to eat when she was doing chemo - including some special water since she instantly related to my description of water tasting slimy! We had a chance to visit for a little while and it was really great to have her shaking her head in understanding about some of the symptoms. I didn't know I even needed that, but it sure did perk up my spirits!

Then this evening when I got home from work and visiting Dad, I took Sophie out on the circle for her socialization time. (See the neighbors bring their dogs out on the circle and they have a chance to run and play together). Sophie is really starting to come out of her shell! She's not nearly so afraid of things, and she loves playing with the other dogs. It also wears her out and makes her have a good night's sleep. Anyway, the women of the neighborhood have organized a Team Tuxedo for the Susan Komen Race for the Cure. This is the second year they will walk together as a team. They asked me if it would be OK to have my name on the shirts. I was really touched! What a nice gesture. I hope I feel well enough to go participate or maybe even just to be there - looking at my treatment schedule, it might be possible.

So what a lovely day! I'm planning another full work day tomorrow. Then out for the rest of the week. Here's hoping for another good day tomorrow!

Staying in the Moment

So here's the short of it,
So I'm trying hard not to even think about Wednesday, and just be in the moment.

And here's the long

It's been a good day. I went twice to Kindred to see Dad, and Mom was there both times. I didn't stay particularly long either time, but I have a notion that it's better to go more often than to stay a long time. I also had a chance to spend time with the Richelson clan, visit with Mommy Anne at Elmcroft, and go to dinner with friends. I have a lovely tiredness tonight - the kind that comes from being busy and full rather than feeling fatigued for no reason at all.

I'm trying very hard now to just stay in the moment and enjoy every minute of these days that I'm feeling well. It's very hard not to project forward and think about Wednesday and the days that will follow. A colleague told me the story one day last week about her Aunt who had chemotherapy. About the 5th treatment she told her husband that she was done, she wasn't going to have any more treatments. Apparently her husband told her something like "Oh yes, you will", and threw her over his shoulder and put her in the car and delivered her to the treatment center! I think until this week, I couldn't have understood the place that woman was in. The first treatment I had, my oncology nurse said something about people who just don't keep their appointments. I think I said something like, "I can't believe people would just miss a treatment." Well, now I think I understand. Now, I'm going to get up on Wednesday and screw up my courage and go bare my port so they can give me the Taxotere, Carboplatin, and Herceptin. But I'm trying very hard to focus on the small wonderful and beautiful things that are happening between now and then.

I'm planning to try to work all day on Monday and Tuesday. Then Wednesday I'll get up and go to the treatment center; then I'll take it one day at a time.

So here's the short of it,
I've felt good today and am looking forward to a few more good days!

And here's the long

I slept in for a bit this morning and felt more rested when I did wake up. I had a pretty busy day. I spent a good little bit of time with Dad at Kindred this morning. When I arrived Mom and my two Aunts, Frances and Joyce, were already there. As I came down the hall, I could hear them singing. Last night at Mom's house they began talking about the songs they sang while they were growing up. I was able to help them find the lyrics to several songs that they didn't find in songbooks that Mom had around the house (google is a great tool!). It's pretty amazing to approach Dad's door and hear the harmony of the sisters singing.

After I visited with Dad, I did a few things around the house that I've been putting off for a pretty day, and then Alan went to the grocery with me! That was nice. This evening I spent a little time at Mom's. Uncle Bob, Jon, and Tim drove down from Lexington today and had a visit with Dad. They were driving back tonight, so I got in a quick visit. It's amazing that they drove down for a visit!

Mommy Anne seemed to be doing well today. She and Alan were at the emergency room until almost midnight last night, so I know she was worn out.

This evening, I'm feeling tired and am looking forward to going to bed early. But I should have a few more good days. My next treatment is this coming Wednesday, so I'm trying hard to enjoy these next few days.

making the best of good days

So here's the short of it,
I felt pretty good today, so I worked a full day, visited out of town company, and went to see Dad.


And here's the long

Today has been a pretty good day. I worked a full day and feel pretty good about what I got done. I will have to say, I didn't hang around even a minute after it was time to go home.

Dad's baby sister Mary and her daughter Lynda came down from Harlan for the day to visit Dad, and I had a chance to see them for a bit before they headed home. They both looked great! Mom's sisters, Frances and Joyce, are still here helping celebrate her birthday today. It was fun for me to be Dad's proxy to give Mom a dozen red roses from him for her birthday.

I went to Kindred tonight and spent a little time with Dad. He's very tired and keeps his eyes closed a lot. But when I got there, he looked directly at me and responded. It's good for me to get a chance to visit with him.

Alan is at Memorial tonight with Mommy Anne. She took a fall and told one of the caregivers that she bumped her head. Elmcroft requires that a doctor take a look if there's a head bump. They have been at the emergency room since about 4 o'clock tonight. I'm thinking it will be quite a bit later tonight before they finish up. 5 1/2 hours later and they have just been taken from the emergency room into a room in the emergency room. They'll do x-rays, probably a CT scan and some labs. It will be pretty late tonight before we really know what's going on.

Tonight I'm going to go to sleep a bit earlier than usual and I'm going to sleep as long as I can tomorrow. I'm going to try to do something kinda for me this weekend in anticipation of my next Taxotere/Carboplatin treatment next Wednesday. I'm looking forward to a good weekend.

Tired again

So here's the short of it,
I feel like it's been a long day and I'm pretty tired.


And here's the long

I worked a full day today, although I didn't do much that was physically exerting. After work, I went to Kindred to see Dad and then home for a bit. I went to Mom's to have dinner (she cooked her own birthday dinner) with Aunt Frances, Aunt Joyce, and Russ. After dinner we had German chocolate cake that Joyce brought! Frances found two votive type candles and lit one for Mom and one for Joyce and we sang Happy Birthday.

I finally got home at 8 this evening and am just really tired. I hope I sleep well. I'm not feeling rested. I did a bit more research about low platelet counts, and one of the symptoms is a feeling of fatigue. Maybe that's one of the things that's causing me to be so tired. I have a few of the Petechiae –- small red or purple spots on skin -- but I'm probably the only one who would notice. And I suppose that could be the cause of the headaches I'm getting every now and again during the treatment cycle. I'll have a chance to talk to the doctor next Wednesday and see what he has to say about anything I should be doing.

I find myself thinking about all the women in my life who have battled this cancer and come out on the other side and are now doing just fine and dandy. In this great adventure those of you who have reached out to me and told me your own stories or the stories of your own family and friends have given me strength. Some of you keep me going in some way that is just uniquely you - a card, a thought, or just a phrase that I keep in my thoughts that lifts me up and makes me know that there is an army of pray-ers and positive thinkers out there sending a force field of love and healing energy. I feel so lucky that out of this horrible illness, I have discovered such an abundance of positivity.

So here's the short of it,
My white blood counts are up to the bottom of the normal range.
My platelets are low.

And here's the long

My blood work was liberating. My white counts are up enough to let me live a fairly normal life for a week before my next chemo treatment. However, my platelet count continues to be low. My last chemo treatment had a reduction in Carboplatin because my platelet count is on a downward trend. I'll be interested to see if there's another reduction, or if it will be just continue monitoring. Apparently there's not much I can do about it. Now I know why every little skin break I get bleeds more than usual and is not healing like I used to.

This evening Mom, Russ, Steve, Alan, and I had a very good meeting with my Dad's doctor and part of his care team. I felt like we had a good and very useful conversation for everyone concerned.

I worked a half day today. Then this evening we had the meeting with Dad's doctor and then we took Mom out to dinner for an early birthday celebration. I'm tired and planning to work tomorrow if I can make it all day. I have an early appointment and intend to work all day if I can make it. We'll see.

Tomorrow Aunt Frances and Aunt Joyce are coming for a visit. And then on Friday we are expecting Aunt Mary and Lynda.

Stamina Issues

So here's the short of it,
I worked today and was exhausted when I came home.

And here's the long

I worked a full day today, and by the time I got home I was exhausted. I got no further than the sofa in the back and fell sound asleep for about two hours! I didn't really do anything physical to tire myself out. I just want some of my old stamina back. Of course, even if I could, I'm not sure I'd work the long hours I have in the past, but I want to be able to if I want! Even if I don't spend the energy working, I could do something when I come home!

By the time I got up, it was time to take Sophie out for her evening social. The neighborhood dogs come out for an outing most evenings near 8 o'clock and play in the circle. The first time we went outside, Sophie was petrified - she is such a timid little soul in that big puppy body. But she is growing more and more confident with the people and the dogs.

Tomorrow I have a Herceptin treatment and lab work. I'm so eager to get my blood counts; my brothers will be here for a meeting with one of Dad's doctors tomorrow, and I want to be able to attend that meeting as well. Russ came in tonight and he and Mom have just been by for a brief visit.

I think I will rest well tonight; I am still very tired.

Sleep and Work

So here's the short of it,
I had such a restless night last night that I didn't work a full day as I had planned.

And here's the long

I had intended to work a full day today, but last night sleep was elusive, and when it did come, it was only in very short spurts - so this morning I was really exhausted. I stayed in my pajamas and puttered around the house and then worked in the afternoon. By the time I got home this afternoon I was very tired. I'm going to ask if there's something I should be doing to increase my stamina or if I just have to wait it out.

Mom came by to visit from the hospital and we had dinner and talked about how she found Dad today. After dinner, Mom went on back to the hospital to be with Dad for a while longer tonight. She is feeling like she wants to spend some nights with him in the coming weeks. When he first moved to Kindred she spent the nights with him until she was satisfied that he would get the attention he needed during the nights. I think she wants to revisit that. I am eager to get my blood counts on Wednesday and am optimistic that they will be high enough that I will have a week when I will be able to visit Dad.

Mommy Anne called me today to tell me what a wonderful place Elmcroft is and how lucky she is that her children found it for her. She told me again how beautiful her bedspread and drapes are, how cozy her apartment is, and how much she loves her chair.

I'm intending to work a full day tomorrow... I know that whole story about which road you are on if it's lined with good intentions... but right now, I plan on working a full day!

Tonight, I'm grateful that even though I'm planning on working a full day tomorrow, if I wake up and can't, I have the flexibility to have a sick day or 1/2 day. I've heard several stories about people who didn't have the option to miss work or who lost jobs because they had to miss work. I've made every effort to save as many sick days as possible over the years and I am so fortunate that the district has made such an effort to mesh the sick leave policy with the Family and Medical Leave Act. I think I should have plenty of paid time to get me through the Chemo and Radiation part of the treatment. And I'm laboring under the impression that once I'm doing Herceptin only, I won't have the debilitating side effects, so I won't need to miss much work. And I'm so tired right now that I can't imagine that I'll have difficulty sleeping tonight!

Feeling Better and Tasting

So here's the short of it,
I've had another good day, but my taster still doesn't work right!

And here's the long

I have felt good today - whatever that means in this season of my life! I've thought about that and it actually made me chuckle to think that 2 or 3 years ago I would have said that today was a "feel good" day. But we human beings tend to take what comes and make the best of it I think.

The story today is about my out of whack taster. Mom had lunch for us because Steve and Pat were in to have a visit with Dad. So the only thing on the whole menu that tasted like my memory was whole berry cranberry sauce. Everything else was certainly fine, but not what I want to taste! Tonight I had a hankering for scrambled eggs and a biscuit and some turkey bacon. The turkey bacon gives me my salt fix....I crave salty things, but nothing else tasted at all like what I was wishing for. I wonder how long it will be before my taste returns. My last Taxotere and Carboplatin dose - if all goes as expected - will be the middle of October. Then I'll still have the Herceptin infusions weekly until the end of next July. So we'll just have to wait and see if the Herceptin alone causes taste change. Apparently it does for some and not for others.

So I'm going to work as much as I can next week, being mindful not to overdo. I hope I'll be able to get in a few full days. I'm thinking that as good as I'm feeling my blood counts must be climbing. I'm eager to go see Dad. Tonight my cousin Mia suggested that on the days I can't visit him that I visualize being with him. I think that's a great suggestion!

So here's the short of it,
I had more energy today than I've had in a long time!

And here's the long

I have felt better and had more energy today than I have since I began treatments. I hope I didn't overdo, but I tackled a big job in one of the back rooms that was on the list for the summer before I found out that I wasn't going to have a summer! I did pace myself, took lots of breaks, managed to find a way to sit to do lots of what I was working on, and late this afternoon, I even took a long break to eat a Wendy's frosty. I've discovered that is something I can eat, and it tastes pretty close to what I remember from before. Liga just poked her head in the door this afternoon and said she'd be back in a few minutes and before I knew it there she was with a frosty for each of us.

During the afternoon, at one point, I accidentally closed Sophie in the bedroom by herself and I was in the kitchen - all of a sudden I heard this baby crying. It took me a minute to realize that it was Sophie! When I opened the door, she had her paws up on the bed, her head over on Alan's pillow and was just crying. It was not a bark! I also think she grew and gained a couple of pounds between 10 o'clock this morning and 2 o'clock this afternoon! She is getting so big! Maybe tomorrow we'll try to weigh her and see just how much she's grown! She and Lola are really starting to get on. They are not running away from one another. Lola will be glad to have a friend. She has missed Suni so much!

Most of my horrid symptoms were gone today. Of course, nothing tastes right(well, the frosty is close); I've got sores on my head, in my nose, in my mouth, and anywhere I happen to break my skin; and I have no stamina at all. My UTI is still bothering me some, but the Cipro is kicking in and I'm feeling some better from that. My temperature is closer to normal today than it's been since my treatment. The treatments cause my temperature to drop by at least a degree and sometimes a degree and a half. My feet and hands still burn and I have very little feeling in my fingers. But I'm not nauseous and I'm not having to stay within 5 feet of the bathroom!

Mom stopped by this evening to give me a report on Dad. This last debriding treatment has really taken the starch out of him. Check out his progress daily at Emily and Gene's blog. I'm eager to get clearance to go see him.

On the upturn

So here's the short of it,
I must be on the upturn of my treatment cycle.


And here's the long

I worked almost a full day today and got lots done. Even though I have stayed away from school buildings, there's lots I can get done through e-mail and phone calls. I've also been able to start getting "put away" somewhat because of being bound to the office. It is great that William delivered the file cabinet and bookcases yesterday.

Several posts ago I talked about the really bad burn I got on my finger. It had really not been healing very well at all. I forgot to ask them to take a look at it when I went in to the doctor, but I had an idea. When I asked what to do about the nose sores I'm starting to get, Lori told me to just use the M.D. Anderson mouthwash on them. I don't remember exactly what they told me was in it, but it has to be mixed at the pharmacy, then kept in the refrigerator and thrown away after 30 days. Anyway, I am developing sores on my head, so I put MD Anderson mouthwash on them, and they quit hurting. So yesterday I started putting MD Anderson mouthwash on my burns and they've healed more in a day and a half than in all the time before. -- I know, I know, maybe it's just that time and it would have been that way even without, but I think now I know why on the cancer discussion boards you keep hearing the discussions about "magic mouthwash" from M.D. Anderson!

Tonight Alan and I, with Mom and Aunt Joyce, went to Elmcroft where Mommy Anne has now moved and ate dinner with her. Pennie and Myra are here this week to help her get settled in. Her apartment is cozy and very nice. The food seems to be pretty good, but I'll have to really report on that when my taster comes back.

Mom and Aunt Joyce have been to Kindred three times today to see Dad. He is exhausted from having another debridement procedure. When they went back down after dinner tonight, she called and asked if Alan would come down to see what he thought about how Dad is doing. His pressure and oxygen are back up to keep him comfortable. Alan remembers him being this tired after the other procedures. I am hoping for good news on my counts on Wednesday so I can spend some time with him. Steve and Pat will be coming in tomorrow night and will have a chance to visit with him.

Sophie report. When I came home from work today, Sophie had piled up 5 of her toys right in front of the pet door. I just had to laugh. I couldn't figure out if she was thinking about taking them outside, or if she had actually done so and was bringing them back in after a play time. When I showed it to Alan, he asked her if she was "coming or going".

Tired

So here's the short of it,
Wow, I am SO tired tonight!

And here's the long

I planned to work only a half day today in the middle of the day. I got to work a little after 10 with the intention of leaving a little before 3 and calling it a half day. Just before I got ready to leave a really nice fellow named William arrived with the bookshelf and filing cabinet from my Brown Academy space, so I stayed until 4:30 and got them placed where I think they need to be. By the time I arrived at home, I was so exhausted! I just plopped down on the couch in the back room and before I knew it, it was 6:30! It seemed like I only slept 3 minutes. I am still so tired this evening. I am planning to work again tomorrow, but I'm not going to push to get up and get going early.

I'm in a funk about not being able to go see my Dad. He's had another debriding procedure done, and is very tired. My Mom spends most of each day at Kindred with him, and then stops by to give me a report about how he's doing. I hope next week my blood counts will be high enough that I can go see him. I miss him.

Sophie report. Knock on wood...it appears that Sophie is house trained. It helps that we have the pet door and that she can go out into the fenced yard whenever she wants. She has only had 3 accidents. We were super careful to take her outside every couple of hours, then really late at night, and early in the morning to do her "potty business." Liga has been great to take on the late night shift. Since she works second shift, she's up very late and has been coming to take Sophie out for a late potty break.

Lola report. It appears that Lola cat is getting accustomed to having Sophie around. She is cautiously making attempts to be friends with this puppy thing. Suni was so sweet and gentle and old by the time we got Lola that I don't think she ever felt any threat. As a matter of fact it was not uncommon to see Lola ambush Suni from a chair or picnic table as she walked by. This puppy on the other hand is already as big as Suni, but full of that puppy energy - so that's been intimidating. This evening, the two of them had a nice romp with Lola ending up lounging on a low limb in the dogwood tree looking down, and Sophie panting on the ground looking up at her. It was a good go for both of them.

I've got a low level of nausea going on today after lunch. I had tuna for lunch so I'm hoping that it's what I ate and not something else. I'll take another anti-nausea pill before bed and see about tomorrow. In the meantime, I'm starting a round of Cipro for my urinary tract infection. Maybe the UTI is what's making me so tired! I've also got that sciatica stuff going on tonight - worse than it's been in a long, long time. I'll be glad for the weekend!

Yucky!

So here's the short of it,
I haven't felt well today, so I didn't work.

And here's the long

I woke up today feeling really yucky. I think I have a urinary tract infection, my diarrhea was acting up, and I've had nausea. When I went in for my herceptin, they got a sample to check but have started me on a big Cipro until they get the lab results back. My blood counts are way down low - so I really should be on house arrest. Instead, I'm going to just try to be really careful not to be places where I might expose myself to something.

I didn't go into work today, but I did make a couple of phone calls and check e-mail. I'm hoping I can go in for a few hours tomorrow, as I have a couple of things that need my attention. That will wait until tomorrow to see how I feel. It's nice to know that I can stay home if I need to and still be able to check e-mail and get a few things done.

I've heard from so many colleagues now that school has started back up! I feel fortunate to have the prayers and support of so many! It has really made this journey easier to know that my friends and family, and work friends and family are sending such love and support my way.

Poor choice

So here's the short of it,
Work, napping, and not eating well...

And here's the long

So I worked a half day again today. I got some tasks accomplished that will help me be more productive until my file cabinet and bookshelf get delivered to the office and I can get stuff put away. At least I've got e-mail working and stuff. I also made sure I have a stock of medicines for every contingency as well as all the over the counter peripherals I need to stay comfortable within reach at the work place. I had a real encounter with learning from my mistakes yesterday!

I really made a poor choice today on the way home. I stupidly stopped at Krystal and brought home two Krystals for lunch. I DO NOT know why I did that! I regretted it within 30 minutes and it is now many hours later and I still regret it. I may have been ruined for Krystal for the rest of my life!

I don't have much stamina at all. By the time I got home, I was absolutely exhausted. I napped off and on most of the afternoon. I don't think I'll have trouble sleeping tonight either.

It's raining a bit here tonight - accompanied by thunder and lightening. Sophie is afraid of the thunder. Actually Sophie is quite timid about many things. The other night we were out front with some other neighborhood folks who bring out their dogs, and one of them started barking. She took off flying for the front porch and hid behind one of the flower pots. It was amusing. I'm working hard to reassure her about the things she's afraid of; perhaps she'll outgrow some of her fears as she grows older.

I'm working a half day again tomorrow and then a Herceptin treatment later in the afternoon.

Oops!

So here's the short of it,
I worked a half day today and forgot to take my diarrhea medicine with me!


And here's the long

I decided to go to work today doing my mid day 1/2 day. I really didn't feel so hot when I got up this morning, but by 10:30 I was getting my computer working and ready to get going. By 11:00 I realized I had made a huge mistake. I had stuck my nausea medicine in my pocket book, but not my diarrhea medicine. So I worked until about 3:30 except a good portion of the time I was running down the hall to the bathroom! Don't you know that tomorrow when I go in, I'll have both medicines with me.

I really feel like I did pretty well. This is the first time I've tried to do very much in the 2nd week after my treatment. This treatment was not nearly as traumatic as the first two, although it has been quite difficult. I'm going try to work an AM schedule tomorrow and see how that goes. Maybe the next day I'll try a PM schedule. The biggest problem in this second week - besides having low blood counts and trying not to expose myself to anything - is my stamina. By the time I had finished my half day, I was really done for!

Today I am particularly grateful for the excellent Family Medical Leave law we have and how Hamilton County has meshed it so well with our sick leave policy. What a blessing!

A bad day

So here's the short of it,
I've had a long day of nausea and diarrhea as well as chills and hot flashes.

And here's the long

Well, I guess I jumped the gun about being through the worst of it for this treatment cycle. I woke this morning with nausea. The two medicines that I have kept the worst of that at bay, but kept me sleepy for most of the day. I had less luck controlling the diarrhea. I sure have swallowed enough medicine and now at almost midnight, I may be getting it under control. I've also alternated most of the day between cold chills and being terribly hot. I probably looked pretty funny taking Sophie out in the yard today wearing a sweater and toboggan.

I am having trouble drinking water. It has an incredibly awful taste and seems slimy. As strange as it seems, I've been able to drink a bit of orange juice today. That may not be so good for the diarrhea, but it's kept me somewhat hydrated I think.

I enjoyed having company from Daniel for a bit this evening. He goes back to Colorado tomorrow - it's been nice to have a chance to visit with him.

I am hoping to work a half day tomorrow. I'll just see how I feel when tomorrow comes. I'm certainly not going to push if I'm feeling like I did today.

Getting better

So here's the short of it,
I believe the worst of this cycle may be over.

And here's the long

I am extraordinarily tired today and I am taking immodium regularly (and am still struggling with diarrhea) but I believe that the worst of this cycle must be over! This has been SO much easier than the first two cycles!

I had good visits with Shelley and Max, Daniel, and Pennie. My twin cousins Ann and Sue with her husband Ken, came in last night to spend some time with Dad and I got a chance to visit with them. Sue, with her lawyer's mind, was so helpful to me when I was struggling with trying to make a decision about whether or not to participate in the drug trial. She spent a huge, long time one evening just asking me questions and helping me sort through it all. And once I made the decision I've been really at peace about it.

Sophie, our new puppy, and Lola, our 3 year old cat are beginning to speak. Lola has probably felt very neglected, but she is beginning to be more at ease with the pup. I'm thinking they will probably be pretty good friends. Lola certainly was devoted to Suni. She spent many days after Suni died, sitting on the half wall looking over at the place where Suni's bed had been. Of course, both Alan and I are still likely to look over at her spot when we pass through the living room where she preferred to sleep - even with this delightful pup in the house!

I've discovered something that tastes OK. Fritos. I bought one of those big get 20% more bags. I sure hope they taste good for longer than a day or two. I've learned that Herceptin causes taste difficulties for some people. I'm hoping that won't be the case for me since I'll be getting it until July!

So here's the short of it,
I'm tired and have very little stamina, but I'm still not having the horrible diarrhea and nausea that I had before!

And here's the long

Today has been a long lazy day. I've spent much of it napping, although I managed to be wide awake when Shelley and Daniel stopped by for awhile and even stayed awake to help take care of Max for a bit while they went to see PaPa at the hospital, and I felt strong enough to go over to Mommy Anne's for dinner. But boy am I worn out now!

I am amazed that I have not had the extent of symptoms that I had with the first two treatments. I have certainly slept and been exhausted, and I've had to take medicine for both diarrhea and nausea, but it is manageable! I haven't felt like I needed to make my bed in the bathroom!

I'll have to admit that I'm weary of food not tasting good. Some food doesn't have much of a taste; it's more like chewing school paste. Other things, especially those that have any kind of spice in them, may have a sharp, odd taste that's not good at all. Sweet things are not very appealing, but like my "chemo sister" Kathy, sometimes I find myself looking for a salt fix. This treatment cycle, water began to have a bad taste. And even when I'm not eating, I have a metallic taste in my mouth most of the time. It's really pretty yucky. I'm hoping that the two big drugs are at the root of most of this and that when I'm on Herceptin alone I'll have my taster back! If that happens, I may be able to taste Thanksgiving turkey and pumpkin pie! Wouldn't that be great timing!

I'll have my next Herceptin treatment next Wednesday. I'm messing around with my treatment day to see if I can make the worst days line up a bit better with the weekend. I'm also looking forward to working some next week.

Side Effects

So here's the short of it,
So it seems that the side effects are not quite so harsh this time.

And here's the long

Well, this hasn't been a picnic by any means, but my side effects are not quite so harsh this time. I've been able to manage the nausea and diarrhea with the variety of prescription and over the counter meds, but the chemo drugs and the medications are keeping me very sleepy. So today has been mostly one nap after the other.

I haven't wanted to eat much of anything and this time around, even water tastes awful! I'm awake enough this evening to know I need to work on hydration. We had a mid-morning visit from Shelley and Max, and I felt well enough to get a couple of snuggles.

I keep reminding myself that I'm halfway through these treatments! It's really giving me strength and courage to know that I can make it the rest of the way.

I missed attending opening in-service today. At one point I found myself wanting to just get dressed and drive out to participate. Of course the wave of nausea that accompanied my sitting up, quickly convinced me that I was being pretty silly. I knew all along that staying home was really the only decision I could reasonably make. I'm hoping I'll be able to work next week.

Tired and cold

So here's the short of it,
I've napped away another day and don't feel like I'll have any trouble sleeping tonight.

And here's the long

I still am pretty symptom free today except for the overwhelming tiredness. My big nausea medicine plus another prescription is keeping the nausea pretty much at bay, and my headache is responding to ibuprofen. I have had chills this time much worse than before, but that's easy enough. I've been wearing a toboggan and staying covered up with a warm blanket. I didn't even get dressed today and have spent most of the day on the sofa napping. I'm still tired enough to think I'll sleep fine through the night!

I'm missing out on opening in-service this week as school gets up and started here in Chattanooga. I've spent so many years getting ready for school to start that it seems strange not to be doing so this year. I feel so lucky to know that on days that I can work, I'll be able to and when this treatment cycle is over, I'll be able to get back into the work cycle again. I work with such an incredible team of people that I'm eager to get back.

In the meantime, I'm here - on the sofa. I'm wondering what tomorrow will bring.

The day after the halfway mark

So here's the short of it,
The day after my chemo and I'm feeling very tired and have napped off and on all day.

And here's the long

It's the day after my chemo treatment and I have that false sense of security. I have not been hit with any big symptoms, just overwhelming tiredness. So I've napped off and on most of the day. I did have the energy to put dishes in the dishwasher and take Sophie for a walk. But I remember that after my first treatment, I felt pretty good for the first two days. I probably at one point even thought something trite like - "oh, I'm one of those women who will find chemo a cakewalk." Alan had the trip to New Haven to see Max scheduled. (Actually we both were going to go until I got my diagnosis!) Anyway, he left on day two or day three, before the symptoms really hit - and then when I couldn't even answer a phone or text the next day, he got really worried. That's the marker that keeps me reminded that it's the 3rd day in that it really hits. Several of my "chemo sisters" have shared that they have/had the same experience.

So I'm on wait. I am hopeful that the reduction in the Carboplatin dosage will make the symptoms less severe; however, my oncology nurse seems to think that it's the Taxotere that's causing most of them! We'll see.

This half way point is a good place to be right now. I found, on Monday, that I really had to screw up my courage to go to the treatment. Now the treatment itself is not difficult at all. The actual infusion doesn't hurt or cause any difficulty. The infusion center is warm and inviting. The people are just the most wonderful medical professionals I have ever encountered anywhere. And I've always got wonderful companionship with Alan and sometimes other family or friends dropping in. But the days that follow are so incredibly difficult, that I found myself feeling a bit like the child who starts crying in the doctor's office at the sight of the needle! So being halfway through feels so liberating in some respects. If I can make it this far, I can make it the rest of the way!

Tonight I am especially grateful to my family, friends, and colleagues who have supported me in so many ways. My heart is full with the knowledge that so many are holding me in their thoughts and prayers.

Half of Taxotere and Carboplatin treatments finished today!

So here's the short of it,
Today was my big chemo, and my Carboplatin dose was reduced. I'm halfway through the Taxotere and Carboplatin portions of my chemo.

And here's the long

I worked this morning and actually had a very productive morning. Since it was the official come back to work day for everyone, I had an opportunity to see several colleagues that I haven't seen all summer as well. That was really nice. Valdis came early to work and helped my load up stuff from Brown Academy where I've been housed to go to W. 40th street. The object of the move is to remove me from an environment with lots of kids because of the virulent strains of disease and just the presence of lots of colds, and childhood illnesses. During the days my blood counts are low, but I feel strong enough to work, I'll be able to work. My dear colleague Marilyn was also right there getting stuff boxed up before I even arrived and lending me space in her vehicle! And when we got to W. 40th street Katherine was right there to get my computer going!


So my chemo started at 1 this afternoon. I have a somewhat cranky port. It always does a nice job of letting the medicine go in, but I have to have blood drawn every week and it doesn't always cooperate with letting stuff out. Today was no different. Lori couldn't get any blood, so I had to have a vein stick in the hand where my veins are so nice - so big deal, but I just wish my port would cooperate! I ended up getting Carboplatin last today because the lab results had to come back in order to know what to do about the Carboplatin dose. Sure enough my kidney function supported my continued low platelet count and my dose was lowered. I finished up about 5:30 this afternoon.


I haven't started feeling horribly yucky just yet. I felt well enough to take Sophie out to meet some of the neighborhood dogs. That went very well. She is still awfully shy and timid, but she's really coming around. Since, in the unique mix of cultures that make up this household, Southern is a major one, we decided that Sophie needed a middle name - and now she has three versions. She was born on May 5th and was in the shelter with her Mom and her 9 siblings until she came to live with us. So one of the three will be Sophie de Mayo; another will be Sophie May; and sometimes we'll call her Sophie May Not. Some of you may not have a hard time knowing that Alan came up with Sophie May Not.


Thanks so much to Valdis, Marilyn, and Katherine for today! You guys are great.

So here's the short of it,
Today was another great family and friends day.

And here's the long

We had such a nice gathering of family and friends this afternoon at Mommy Anne's to introduce Max to Chattanooga. He was much better behaved than I would probably be if that many people were crowded around me poking me and saying goo-goo.

Max is such a yummy little bundle to hold and snuggle. We are very lucky! He is a tall skinny boy. He's trying to roll over and he definitely knows what he wants and is just fine about letting everyone know if he's not happy with what's going on. He's also a handsome and alert little fellow!

I definitely know that it was a good choice to postpone my treatment so that I could be in good shape for these last two days.
So tomorrow I will hit the half-way mark in my "big chemo" treatments - it's number 3 of the 6. Dr. Schlabach will be adjusting my Carboplatin dosage since my platelet counts have been moving downward every week. I'm hoping that this adjustment will also have a positive impact on the side effects. That would be wonderful!

In the meantime, I have my medicines and talismans all lined up to see me through this next cycle. I'll work a half day in the morning, and then take the afternoon for my treatment.

Good thoughts, positive meditations, and prayers are all appreciated.

Family

So here's the short of it,
A day filled with family.

And here's the long

Today was filled with family. Fairly early this morning, Alan got a call that when the sitter arrived at his mother's house, she found Mommy Anne had fallen in the hallway. Alan went over to check on her and ended up taking her to the emergency room. That was an all day for him. It was sad that he missed seeing the great niece and being with Max and Shelley, but it is so wonderful that he is able to be there for his Mom. She had X-rays, CT Scans, and had the skin from her kneecap "glued" back on. Tonight she is back home and one of her sitters will be spending the night with her.

On the Howard side, by mid morning, the children, grandchildren, great grandchildren and extended family who were planning to come had arrived at MaMa and PaPa's house. There was brunch food in the morning, and then a huge lunch in the afternoon. The babies got introduced to one another. I think I heard a report that Madison pulled Max's hair! That's pretty funny. Anyway there was lots of time to visit.

By turns everyone took an opportunity to go down to Kindred in small groups to visit PaPa (my Dad). The babies were not allowed in the hospital, so their Mom's went in to see PaPa, and their Aunts, Uncles, and Grandparents stood outside the window and lifted the babies up so that he could see them. I think someone got a picture of that - once I get it I'll post it.

Mom has got a small book that she's keeping in Dad's room for people who visit to write notes in. She brought it home and had the family all write a note for him. He will be so pleased.

I'm feeling good today. I'm really grateful that I was able to postpone Friday's chemotherapy so that I'd be able to enjoy the weekend. I got a really good dose of holding Max late this afternoon. He's so alert and such a handsome little boy! I'm lucky.