Snow and hair

So here's the short of it,
Today I'll do a snow report and a hair report.


And here's the long

I awoke this morning to see snow on the ground!  I never quite get over my child like excitement when it snows.  And if there is one thing that I miss about being this far south, it's knowing that there will be at least one or two good snows every winter.  Of course, I don't want to be far enough north to be snowed in either!  

By 9:30 or 10:00 the sun was out and it was completely melted!  I hope we'll have at least one more snow this winter and that it will be one that sticks around for at least a couple of days.  And of course, as a school person, it wouldn't be so bad if it happened on a week day!

Early this afternoon, I met Mom and Aunt Joyce and cousin Daniel at the cemetery.  Mom had made this beautiful arrangement - she used a dozen roses that she bought and then holly and nandina berries that she had at home.  It was just lovely. Check it out on today's post at Emily and Gene.

This evening we went to Mom's for dinner - she bought lamb chops and made a lovely meal.  Alan, Liga, and I had a nice time visiting for a bit.

Today, I'll make a hair report.  I never did really lose all the hair on my head as many people who go through chemotherapy do.  I kept it shaved short though because it started falling out all over the place, and most of my head was bald.  But I always had a bit of a mohawk stubble. I haven't shaved my head since my last chemotherapy treatment and my head hair is beginning to grow, but here isn't very much on the sides!  My eyebrows and eyelashes are extremely thin and as a matter of fact are still coming out.  Like most women I know, I shave my legs and under my arms.  By the third chemotherapy treatment, that was a task that I didn't have to worry about any more.  So far none of that is growing back.  Apparently the radiation will keep the hair under my left arm from coming back until that's over.  The hair on my arms has become very sparse.  I don't notice it coming back yet.  And yes, I lost all that hair too, and it's not growing back yet either!

I sometimes just take a look at women I know who have been through chemotherapy and radiation and  say well, they are doing fine, so I can get there too.  It's good to know that there are so many who have gone before me and are now doing fine.  I've crossed off  5 radiation treatments - only 31 left!  Then just a weekly visit for Herceptin!  By the time I get done with Herceptin, my hair will be back.  I can do this!

Still Tired

So here's the short of it,

Oh, I am weary!  This tiredness is with me all day long. 

And here's the long.

I am so thrilled that today is Friday and tomorrow I can just sleep until Sophie is jumping up and down on me to give her some attention!  I am so tired.  I've never really been much of a napper. Alan can lie down and sleep for 20 minutes and wake up feeling refreshed and ready to go.  If I sleep for 20 minutes, I'm a grumpy gal.  A "nap" for me is usually more like an hour or two.  Dr. Gefter did tell me that I would need to take naps every day as I get on into the radiation treatments.  Maybe as that time comes, I'll be able to nap in the evening when I get home from work - and maybe this will be the time I learn how to nap for shorter periods of time. I'm thinking that tomorrow or Sunday I'm going to try drinking some coffee.  I realized today that I haven't been having coffee since my chemotherapy started.  Maybe it was my morning coffee that got me going.  It was always my very first stop after my feet hit the floor.  I set the coffee up and Alan turns it on when he gets up (which is earlier that any human ought to be up and about).  And by the time I would get into the shower I'd have a half a cup down, and have it finished soon after.  Then at least one more cup before leaving for work.  I haven't really wanted coffee yet, it doesn't taste so good, and for awhile, it made me sick every time I tried it.  So tomorrow if it doesn't make me sick ...well, we'll see. 

Today I reported for radiation at 2:00.  They called me back before I even had time to load up FLING (the newest app for my phone that Shelley told me about), they came to get me.  There were no glitches - the cabinet was full of gowns. Maybe I know a little better how to get on the table now; they didn't have to move me around so much. Today I discovered that they have my "numbers" on a TV screen highlighted  in orange.  As they get the table in the right position - left, right, up, down, and the machine itself in the right position, the highlight goes away.  The machine itself won't operate until all the numbers are "cleared".  Today was a piece of cake.  I was out of the treatment and dressed and getting back into the car to go back to work by 2:20!  Wow.   I guess there won't be so much to report on my radiation treatments!

I should report that my sore fingers are beginning to heal.  Zim's Crack Cream , along with Badger Balm is doing the trick.

Tired

So here's the short of it,
I'm so tired in the mornings. Mom and I enjoyed a visit with Mommy Anne at Elmcroft.


And here's the long

Well, I worked today, although when the alarm went off this morning I didn't know how in the world I was going to get myself out of the bed!  Morning has never been easy for me, but it is becoming nearly impossible!  Once I can drag myself out of the bed which seems to take at least 3 snooze cycles, I have to take ginger to calm my stomach before I can eat something, and I have to eat something before I can take my morning medicine or it makes me sick.  And now that I've started radiation, I can't wash my left underarm  when I shower, just let water run over it --- I can promise you that doesn't make the odor go away!  Anyway - I think it's great that I'm getting up.  I remember those days just a few weeks ago when I was so sick I couldn't get out of the bed or off the couch except to crawl to the bathroom. 

I do think I'm stronger once I ever get going in the morning.  I still have the awful neuropathy in my fingers and my feet, but I can walk  I felt good enough to walk (well limp is a better description) around the circle 4 times tonight.  Sophie was ever so happy to have some time outside too.

Mom discovered a tragedy this morning.  A stray dog in the neighborhood had killed her beautiful calico cat, Patches.  She's pretty sad about it.  Check out her blog for today for the details we know.

Radiation today was just a cinch.  From the time I parked until the time I was in the car heading out of the parking lot, was just about 30 minutes.  The technicians are just really nice, and I'm getting used to the bare chest, line up the lasers with the marks and lie real still, even though it's pretty cold in this room routine.  I think I may always remember the mark up on my chest even when I'm allowed to wash with soap and the permanent marker fades away for good!

Alan was running a temp this morning and even though he felt better this evening, I took Mom instead of him and we went over to Elmcroft for the Holiday Buffet with Mommy Anne.  It was a nice evening.  They had a nice buffet, and live entertainment.  They recognized all the people who come to volunteer.  It was amazing to hear them talk about people coming - some once a week, others once a month - to do everything from playing music, to offering Bible study, to playing games, to just coming to sit and visit with the residents. After the recognitions the music duo "That man and Robin" played and some of the volunteers and staff danced with those residents who wanted to participate.  It was really sweet. 

Work and Treatments

So here's the short of it,
Today I worked a half day and had radiation and Herceptin.  I am really tired.

And here's the long

Today I worked until about 1:15, then I dashed home so that Alan could go with me to my treatments.

I went first to my radiation treatment.  I got into the little changing room and did the routine, strip from the waist up, and.....opened the cabinet door to get the flimsy gown that opens in the front ... and there were none there!  Hmmm... get dressed and go find someone, yell really loud, or....there was a cord on the wall to pull if you need a nurse.  I pulled.  I've never pulled one of those cords before even though I've seen them in every medical facility I've ever been in.  Boy did I ever get a quick response!  A nurse came running as well as a technician, only to find a frustrated half naked woman looking for a hospital gown - not someone prone on the floor or bleeding or anything like that.  I quickly apologized and said that I really didn't know it would alarm them so much.  They were very apologetic themselves.  Maybe from now on I'll look in that little closet before I do the stripping thing. 

My treatment went very smoothly and quickly.  There are two technicians working on getting my placement exactly correct.  Today they had to take x-rays.  Apparently they may need to make an adjustment in the aim of the machine.  They send those x-rays to the doctor as well as to the physics department. I guess I'll know tomorrow if they are making any changes.  The treatment was over in less than 30 minutes from the time they called me back.  And the holding my arms up over my head was pretty easy, even though the x-rays made it take a longer time.  I noticed that the young technician tells me I can relax my arms down just as soon as the radiation beam is over.  Of course she is not in the room during that time, so she tells me over the intercom.  Oh - I didn't mention, since the technicians can't be in the room while the radiation in active, they have two cameras and an audio feed so that we can talk with one another during the treatment.  It seems like I'll have this down in another visit or two! I still don't like the no deodorant thing, but  I'm sure I'll get used to that. 

After radiation I went up to the fifth floor for my Herceptin treatment.  They were completely out of Herceptin.  My oncology nurse, Lori, said that they have been far busier than usual this week -- and it wasn't all because of  making up treatments missed over Thanksgiving.  Anyway, she managed to borrow a Herceptin vial from a pharmacy in the hospital so that I didn't have to come back tomorrow.  Of course my port still isn't working, so I had to get a stick in my right hand again.  I much prefer the port!  I've got track marks all along the vein that runs across the top of my right hand.  I can't have anything done to my left arm or hand since that was the side that they took out lymph nodes.  Apparently that's like making a nice invitation for lymphodema. So no sticks or blood pressures, etc on that side.  Maybe my port can get fixed in a week or two! I understand that it might be just an outpatient, in the office type procedure to fix it up. 

This evening I've been pretty tired.  Sophie seems to know I'm not up to her usual shenanigans, and she's been a little less rambunctious. The tiredness is overwhelming.  Lori says it's my low red counts and that she's amazed that I'm doing as much as I am.  I understand that the radiation treatments are very tiring.  But I've also got an expectation that they'll be much easier than the chemo treatments were! I've had to lock Sophie out of the back room. As soon as Liga go home Sophie just started jumping all over the place, including on top of me!   She is too much for me tonight! 

Radiation report and hair

So here's the short of it,
Today was a "normal" radiation treatment; I'm stinky; and my hair is barely beginning to grow back. 


And here's the long

Today's radiation treatment is more like what will be normal.  I arrived at the cancer center at 2:00 and I was called back at about 5 minutes after.  I got changed - the command is internalized by now - "take off everything from the waist up and put on the gown open in the front".  By the time I walked into the treatment room, they had the table set up for me.  My body mold was on the table and my special knee pad and back pad were in place.  I got onto the table - oh yea, that next command take your left arm out of the gown - and got into the position.  The two technicians spent about 10 or 15 minutes getting my body positioned just right and getting my marks refreshed.  I asked them to explain it to me since I have to have my head tilted up.  There is a laser inside the machine which shines down onto my chest.  They have to line it up exactly with the marks on my chest.  And of course, they use the tattoos to show where they put those center marks.  They are like really big plus signs in permanent black marker.  They use this to set up what they call SSD "Source to Skin Distance".  They actually have a physics department where part of the planning takes place and gives them the numbers they use or maybe confirms them.  Once again, as they positioned me, sometimes it seemed that they weren't moving anything but my skin. Oh yeah, I had my arms above my head the whole time.  I can do 10 or 15 minutes with my arms above my head with no problem!  Then they did the two radiation treatments.  I have to lie very, very still and they blast me for a few seconds on the right side; then they come back and set the machine up for treating me from the left.  Then it's all over and I can leave.  I was sitting back in my car at 2:27, and was back at work before 3:00.  Right now this is seeming really doable!  Tomorrow and every Wednesday, I'll have my Herceptin infusion up on the 5th floor after I get finished.  It looks like I may even have time to stop for a Starbucks afterwards since there's one in the lobby almost on the way from one office to another.

One more radiation report.  I'm not allowed to wash "the area" with soap nor can I wear deodorant.  I don't think that part will be too fun for me.  I've been thinking today about the dress shields I remember the "older girls" and women wearing when I was a youngster.  Then I remembered my Texas friend commenting in the early days of the blog.  I had written about my tape allergy and how uncomfortable I was and the brilliant suggestion from my surgeon about using maxi pads for bandages.  Her comment had to do with the hundreds of uses for pantyliners or maxi pads - so I'm thinking I'm going to try using pantyliners as dress shields.  They are disposable; they have adhesive, so they'll stick to my clothes already; and I still have some left from before.  I'll see how that works with the stinky problem.  I suppose over the next 7 weeks, I'll become better acquainted with my natural smell.  

My last chemo treatment was several weeks ago, and I can begin to see some hair coming back on my head.  It's mostly just real tight stubble that isn't growing very fast at all, but I have about 8 hairs on my head that are trying to grow.  They might be 1/8th of an inch long.  I really don't mind not having hair in terms of not having to shampoo or fix my hair before I go somewhere - but my head is perpetually cold without my hair.  I've become pretty attached to my toboggans and the felt caps Mom brought me.

Radiation

So here's the short of it,
My radiation treatments started today. 

And here's the long

Today I started my radiation treatments. I had to go up to the lab at Dr. Schlabach's office to get my blood counts first.  They are low, but both my doctors felt like they were showing a move in the right direction and both were of the opinion that radiation could begin.  Both of these doctors are very cautious practitioners, and I feel very comfortable with their decision.

Today was a long appointment.  They kept referring to it as set up and blocking, and referred to the shields.  Once again, I had to have my arms above my head holding onto those handles.  It really stretches my shoulder muscles, and after a bit of time is quite uncomfortable.  I was in two different rooms this trip, and both the rooms were very cool. Apparently they have to keep them pretty cool because of the machines.  It wasn't too bad when I was fully clothed with my big sweater on. Once my nurse said take everything off from the waist up and put on this robe, open in the front, I was cold!  In the first room my radiation nurse, Johnna, got me in just the right position and took x-rays.  It took lots of time - she was extremely meticulous about getting my body in exactly the right position.  She had me lie down on the skinny bed and put me into the upper body mold that they made on my first visit; then she moved me - it seemed like only in the tiniest of increments.  Sometimes she would just push against my skin to move me and get my tattoos right under the beam of light shining on my chest. Other times she moved me using the sheet.  Sometimes she rolled me just a bit, other times she actually pulled the sheet under me from one side or the other. None of the moves seemed more than just the tiniest bit. Then I had to be really still for a long time while she took measurements and marked me up with a permanent marker - oh yeah, my arms were still up over my head.  She would say numbers like 94 point 2 or 82.  I have no idea what those numbers meant.  I must have incredibly stiff muscles in my shoulders, because it really hurt to have to be so still with my arms up.  I kept just telling myself that I only had to get through another 5 minutes, finally toward the end, I was aiming to get through just the next one minute at a time.  After all the x-rays were taken Dr. Gefter came in and checked out the positioning and marked up a big area on my chest.  Then I was able to put my arms down and they took me to a little dressing room to wait for the OK to go into the treatment area.

I probably waited 20 minutes or so in this little dressing room for the treatment plan to be approved.  When I went into the actual treatment room, they replicated the first day I went for planning and mapping.  I had a special cushion under my knees and a pad under my back at a very specific location.  My upper body mold went on the table and I got right into the position. My treatment technician was a delightful young woman not too much older than Liga.  She told me what to expect and exactly how it would all happen.  She was joined by another technician and we repeated the meticulous positioning - I think it was easier because there were two of them.  Again, I don't think they moved me very much at all any time - and sometimes it seemed they were just pushing my skin. but they finally got me lined up just right.  Then Dr. Gefter came and double checked the x-rays and the positioning and marked me up some more.  I do think that the smell of a permanent marker will remind me for a long time of radiation treatments.  So here we were, ready to go.  The machine moved to the right side - the technicians left the room and it radiated me for 30 - 45 seconds.  Then the machine moved to the left side and I got the second short blast of radiation.  Then it was all over!

So it seems that the majority of a radiation appointment will be getting into the right position and making sure that the marks for the margins of the treatment area are touched up.  No wonder Johnna told me to buy a couple of really cheap bras.  I'll have permanent ink marks all over whatever I wear for the next couple of months!  I go again tomorrow and again the next day - 36 treatments Monday through Friday with time off on Christmas Day and New Year's Day!

My Mom, Aunt Frances, and Aunt Joyce gave me a special gift for this radiation phase of my treatment.

There is this beautiful gold foil box and inside it are 36 quotes for my days of radiation treatment.  There is a poem written by the sisters.







                           FOR LYNN - BLESSINGS
       Inside this box are quotes for you.
       Choose one each day to see you through.

       Some are deep and some are fun
       But remember, dear, to choose just one!

       We hope they'll help you pass each day,
       And just remember, we all will pray...

       That you will find, before much longer
       You will become stronger, STRONGER!

       And, yes, we add a final touch...
       It is "WE LOVE YOU VERY MUCH"!

          Emily (Mom), Frances and Joyce

The Christmas Star

So here's the short of it,
The Christmas Star that Dad helped conceive and build is lit in front of First Cumberland Church. 

And here's the long

I was a little more tired today -- maybe I overdid it the last couple of days when I felt so much better.  But all in all today was a pretty good day.  This morning I slept in a bit and this afternoon I took a pretty long nap. I had enough energy to putter around the house a bit, but didn't really get very much accomplished. 

This evening, Alan and I went to the church service at First Cumberland Church for the Star Lighting service.  After Dad and Mom got settled in and decided which church they would attend, it didn't take long for him to start talking up the idea of a Christmas Star every year.  So the Star in front of First Cumberland is just one of the tangible legacies Dad left behind.  He loved the stars.  In the last weeks he was alive, Alan and I went to visit and told him there was a really bright star that evening.  He mouthed, it's Mercury.  He knew the heavens just as well as I know the streets running through the Belvoir neighborhood.  And he was enthralled with the idea of the star at Christmas.

Tomorrow I have my first radiation appointment.  I'm not sure if they will actually do the treatment since my platelet counts were still so low last Wednesday.  I'll just have to wait and see what happens.  I understand the first treatment takes about an hour to make sure everything is set just right.  I still have the ghosts of the permanent marker from my mapping.  I do know I'm not allowed to wear any deodorant over the length of the treatment.  I'm to use cornstarch instead.  The nurse also told me to get a couple of cheap sports bras to wear during the treatment.  She told me that whatever bras I wear will be ruined by the treatment.  I'm not sure why, but I'm sure I'll find out! 

My fingers are pretty sore.  One of my friends who is probably also distant family sent me a suggestion to use Zim's Crack Cream.  Liga picked it up for me today when she did our grocery shopping, and I've been using it since.  I sure hope it helps.  My Aunt Frances also sent information about a foot cream for neuropathy.  I'll get that ordered tomorrow!