How are you feeling?

For the last 3 weeks, people have been asking me "How are you feeling?" And I didn't really feel any different at all. I can't feel the tumor; the biopsy spot is really just a teeninsy incision; and if someone hadn't told me I'd have no idea I have cancer. But today is the day I think it’s really OK to start asking, “how are you feeling?” This afternoon I had some pre-operative stuff done to get ready for surgery in the morning. There was the regular stuff which isn’t so much - a chest x-ray, drawing some blood. Then I had this procedure called Lymph Node Mapping to get ready for the Sentinel Node Biopsy - a part of tomorrow's procedure. I got nuclear medicine injected into the area around the tumor and in the area right around the nipple (that was an ouch! a really big ouch!) Then I spent almost 2 hours in a Low Energy High Resolution (LEHR) Infinia Hawkeye 4 imaging machine with my arm above my head getting pictures taken. I just love the idea that the spots my surgeon needs to see are all lit up and she knows exactly where to go! All in all this was a very doable day! But if someone asked “how are you feeling”, I’d have to say, a little sore and a little sad. When the needle pricks happened my eyes filled …was it the hurt, or was it the smack down of no longer being able to avoid this disease and knowing that it and I are going to be in a battle for my life.

Link here if you want to learn more about Lymph Node Mapping and Sentinel Node Biopsy

http://www2.mdanderson.org/app/snb/mainmenu.htm

Even more graphic images of the procedure are here!

http://images.google.com/images?hl=en&ie=UTF-8&q=sentinel%20node%20biopsy%20procedure&sa=N&tab=wi&um=1

Of course some fun stuff as well….I visited Dr. Brzezienski to get “marked up”. This will allow my surgeon to know right where she should make the incision. He’s quick and to the point. So not only do I have a radioactive map inside the skin of my left breast. I have an X marks the spot in permanent black marker which is somewhere near the “sentinel node” and I have a grid on my breast in that surgical ink so that the surgeon will know the best place to enter the breast. Wow! I even have a mark at the bottom of my throat in surgical ink?

So how am I feeling? I'm sore; I'm sad; and I’m nervous.

I also continue to be very hopeful.

I report to outpatient surgery at 6:30 in the morning.

I’ll do a quick update if I can keep my eyes open in the evening.

I continue to request your positive thoughts, meditations, and prayers - in whatever way makes most sense to you.