Staying in the Moment

So here's the short of it,
So I'm trying hard not to even think about Wednesday, and just be in the moment.

And here's the long

It's been a good day. I went twice to Kindred to see Dad, and Mom was there both times. I didn't stay particularly long either time, but I have a notion that it's better to go more often than to stay a long time. I also had a chance to spend time with the Richelson clan, visit with Mommy Anne at Elmcroft, and go to dinner with friends. I have a lovely tiredness tonight - the kind that comes from being busy and full rather than feeling fatigued for no reason at all.

I'm trying very hard now to just stay in the moment and enjoy every minute of these days that I'm feeling well. It's very hard not to project forward and think about Wednesday and the days that will follow. A colleague told me the story one day last week about her Aunt who had chemotherapy. About the 5th treatment she told her husband that she was done, she wasn't going to have any more treatments. Apparently her husband told her something like "Oh yes, you will", and threw her over his shoulder and put her in the car and delivered her to the treatment center! I think until this week, I couldn't have understood the place that woman was in. The first treatment I had, my oncology nurse said something about people who just don't keep their appointments. I think I said something like, "I can't believe people would just miss a treatment." Well, now I think I understand. Now, I'm going to get up on Wednesday and screw up my courage and go bare my port so they can give me the Taxotere, Carboplatin, and Herceptin. But I'm trying very hard to focus on the small wonderful and beautiful things that are happening between now and then.

I'm planning to try to work all day on Monday and Tuesday. Then Wednesday I'll get up and go to the treatment center; then I'll take it one day at a time.