Fatigue

So here's the short of it,

No fever today, but I've been really tired all day. 

And here's the long

Well, I stayed home today because I felt so awful on Sunday and had a temperature near 100.  I really haven't had sore throat, or earache, or fever today, but  I've been so exhausted.  I always think it's such a waste of time to be home on a work day when you feel so awful you can't even sweep a floor!  Oh well, that was today. I did get dressed, but if I'm honest about that it was mainly so I could throw my favorite sleepwear in the washer to have them clean and nice tonight.  They are drying right now and in a bit they'll be nice and clean and dry and warm and I'll snuggle into them and they'll feel good.

I did feel well enough to do some work by e-mail today, but not a whole lot.  I'm really hoping to go in and get a couple of things done tomorrow that are really needing to be done before I'm out of commission so totally.

I'm supposed to have a Taxotere, Carboplatin, Herceptin treatment on Wednesday afternoon.  It will depend on my red blood counts.  If the Procrit did it's job, I'll be able to have the treatment.  I wonder if it will change any because of the myopathy from last time.  He did talk about needing to think about whether or not the treatment protocol would need to be adjusted.  Well, that's why I chose Dr. Schlabach - I have great confidence that he will do just exactly what I need.  He is so at home in this parallel universe of blood counts, and toxic medicines delivered at just the right amount to nearly, but not kill - and he is so knowledgeable about all the new discoveries that are brewing in the laboratories across the country - well probably the world. So whatever he decides is how it will roll.  I'm going to just believe that the Procrit did what it was supposed to do and we'll be ready to get on with this on Wednesday.  And in the meantime, I'm going to stay in the now.  I'm still not feeling as good as I would have thought I'd be feeling.  I guess I need to keep the "cumulative effect" in my brain.  Dr. Schlabach has explained that I will rebound less after each treatment - so that I shouldn't expect to feel as well on day eight after my 5th treatment as I did on day 8 of my 1st treatment.  I sorta have shoved that conversation to the back of my brain.  I'm confronting it and thinking it will help me get through the next two treatments because my expectations for myself will be more realistic.

Today I'm grateful that I have a job that allows me to stay home when I need to and know that it will still be there when I'm ready to go back.