A New Year

So here's the short of it,
I am looking forward to the new year - the new decade.

And here's the long

2010 is here.  In spite of the great difficulties 2009 brought I am moving forward into this new year - new decade - with hope and a full heart.

The real difficult part of my cancer treatments will be done by the end of January.  My doctor seems to think that my strength will begin to return and within 6 weeks, I should be at 70 or 80 %.  By the time the year is half over all the planned treatments so far will be complete and I will be working toward that "survivor" label!  I have been in such good hands during all this treatment.  I could not have found better physicians; my friends, neighbors, and colleagues have been so wonderfully helpful; and my family - even those who are so far away - rallied around me in a way that has brought such strength to me in this difficult time.

Negotiating this year, this next decade, without Dad will be hard. Every day there is something I want to ask him or something I wish he had told me.  I can't begin to imagine how it will be to spend his birthday without him and then all the days - ordinary and other that will follow.  There will be a day when I go to see Mom and Dad's chair is empty and there is not a list for the seed order and the upcoming year's garden plan.  On Valentine's Day instead of him bringing Mom and me red roses, we'll take them to his gravesite.  And on Memorial Day and Veteran's Days we'll remember how proudly he donned his uniform and helmet and went down to the cemetery for the special service.  He was so honored to have the attention of the congressmen, the mayor, and the many younger servicemen who all profusely thanked him for his service.  I've had many people tell me over the last few months, that the missing never goes away, just the intensity of the grieving.  I do feel so extraordinarily privileged to be Gene and Emily's daughter.

 Today, I especially celebrate the scientists and students who work so hard in their laboratories earning far less than they should, and I am so very grateful to be on the receiving end of a new medicine that is the result of that labor.

So I forge ahead.  I expect 2010 to bring healing in so many ways.  I have work that I love and that I believe makes a difference in the world;  I have neighbors, friends, and friends who are like family who bring me so much support and joy; and I have such a wonderful family and extended family who have wrapped me in their love and sustained and comforted me with their constant prayers and communications.