So here's the short of it,
Today is Dad's birthday.


And here's the long

I continue to have this utter exhaustion.  This morning I had every intention of working a full day..... and I don't even remember turning off the alarm clock.  When I woke, it was 9:30 so I just took my time and  turned it into a half day.  This tiredness isn't like anything I've ever experienced before.  I remember being very tired after staying up til all hours (when I was a lot younger) - it's not like that.  I know that extreme tiredness after working hard in the house or yard all day - it's not like that either.  It's not even like the tired of working two jobs.  I can't really relate it to anything I've ever known.  It's in my brain as well - I don't seem to think as fast or clearly, and I just long for sleep even though I'm not really sleepy, just oh so tired! 

This is Dad's birthday.  He would have been 85 years old.  Since I got up so late, Mom and I went to the cemetery just before lunch and put some flowers on his grave.  Mom had red roses, Dad's favorite, for the church service last Sunday in honor of his birthday, and today she took a four of them with us to decorate his grave. He was so at peace with the decision he had made to be buried in the National Cemetery, so in that way it's a comfort to visit him there on the side of that hill. 

It's such a strange passage to have his birthday come and go, and not hear his voice or have a piece of birthday cake with him.  It still just doesn't seem possible that he's not with us in person.