I'm feeling better

So here's the short of it,

I am feeling better, and I can tell that my body is rebounding from the chemotherapy.  

And here's the long

I can tell that my body is beginning to try to return to normal.

The redness in the large radiation area is almost gone.  The skin is a bit darker, the area is more tender than the right side, and it's very dry.  The skin in the boost area is still pretty "hot".  It's red and itchy and dry and very tender to the touch.  The olive oil is doing a good job of keeping it moisturized. During the day my mind is so busy with things that I don't really notice any discomfort unless I bump into something.  But at night when I'm trying to calm down and get really still, I'm a little more likely to notice the burny, itchy, - oh, don't roll over that way feeling.  I've found that taking Tylenol at bedtime helps a whole lot with that. I am beginning to notice some fleeting moments of shooting pain in my treated breast.  Apparently that is very normal, but it's just now beginning for me.

My hair is coming back.  The hair on my head might be 1/4 inch long now.  I have a cowlick on the right side which I have absolutely never noticed before, but at this length it's very apparent.  I can also see the growth pattern of my hair - something I've never really contemplated.  The hair on the top of my head grows toward the middle from bothe sides making the beginnings of a Kewpie doll do.  The hair on the sides at about the same height as my temple grows forward toward my face, and then the hair below that and in the back of my head below my crown grows down.  Who knew! 

I have eyebrows and eyelashes again, but they are not mine!  At least that's what I think every time I look in the mirror.  They are really different.  My eyebrows are not the same color that they used to be, and the hair seems thicker - both a thicker hair shaft as well as just more hair.  My eyelashes have grown back thicker, straighter, and at least for the time being shorter than before.  I have hair coming back on my arms.  My underarms and legs don't seem to have much hair coming back yet. I'm sure that will come with time. 

One of the things that happened during chemotherapy was that my chronic skin irritations just disappeared. I've never really known what they are, maybe psoriasis or eczema or just dermatitis.  I think I got that from Dad!  Like him I have to use products for sensitive skin. And over the years my primary care physicians and dermatologists have given me a variety of creams and salves to use on the places.  As soon as the weather gets cold and I'm not getting sun on my skin, I start to break out.  I also have what's known in our family as the Howard itchy back.  Dad had it, both of my brothers have it, as do I!  It's great to get a back scratching from one of them, because they know exactly what kind of scratching to do.  Anyway, all of that was gone.  Dr. Schlabach told me that chemotherapy had been used in the past to treat very severe cases of one or the other of these diseases, but that they have much better treatments without such side effects now.  So I'm beginning to get some small patchy rashes back and I'm beginning to feel a little of the Howard itchy back syndrome.  I can't say that's really exciting, but it does let me know that my body is moving ever so slowly back to the normal or as I've been told or warned my "new normal". 

The neuropathy is still very apparent in my feet.  I don't have any numbness in my fingers anymore, but I'm still pretty clumsy when it comes to really fine motor coordination.  I have trouble with coins, my small earrings, and such.  I'm also not really good at gauging temperature with my fingers yet.  My feet are maybe beginning to be a little better, but they are still very far from normal.  They always feel like they are just waking up from being asleep.  They get so cold, and they are so sensitive to being bumped.  I was walking around in my sock feet earlier tonight and I accidently kicked one of Sophie's bones - it hurt!  I also seem to have better balance when I'm just walking around.  I still make sure I have a handrail or a hand if I'm going up or down stairs.  I'm also wondering if I'll get back my barefooting.  I think one of the things I've always enjoyed about spring is when it gets warm enough to go outside without shoes.  I wouldn't dare do that now.  Maybe by the time it gets warm, I'll be there.

I've heard many friends and colleagues over the years talk about something called chemo brain. Sometimes I can really feel it.  My thought processes are slower; I have much more difficulty multitasking; and I often can't get a very common word to come to mind.  The most embarrassing part of this is when I see someone I've worked with, lived near, or known for years and can't get their name to come to me.  I'm hoping it will improve, although some of my friends say it has stayed with them. 

There are a few more things going on, I'll get to those in another post.  For right now, I'm feeling like I'm making great progress.