So here's the short of it, 

I'm trying to figure out why I work when I'm sick?

And here's the long

So, I've had a pretty yucky day.  I went to work cold and all.  I thought about it off and on today when I was between stuff, and tried to think about why we go to work when we are sick.  I mean - I know why I went, I was obligated to 3 separate meetings which had been set up weeks ago and which would take weeks to reschedule, and each of them had to do with some pretty important stuff (kids)! So it felt important for me to go.  Never mind of course, that I'm probably contagious - of course it's not Ebola, it's just a chest cold; and never mind that I tried to be pretty careful not to contaminate my colleagues with my coughing or with touching things. And never mind that I know from studying biology that I was probably contagious before I even knew I was getting sick!  I know that my ancestors had to go to work whether they were sick or not and that they shared the load and tried to help their family members/clan members/neighbors when illness struck.  I think our sick leave bank is a way of extending this circle of caring beyond the people we know and care about.  Thankfully, I had enough sick leave last year not to have to use the sick bank.  And thank goodness, I still have some days left and am earning more every pay period.  But that begs the question of why I wouldn't just take them when I feel crummy.   My Dad would have said it was because of "the stock I came from" - a hardy, and hard working people who gave no quarter to weakness.  That might be one of the reasons that not working so many days last year was so hard.  I'll have to say, though, that I really did feel that circle of belonging.  My work colleagues circled the wagons.  They took care of everything they could without even letting me know that a problem existed.  They continually checked on me and lifted my spirits.  When I could go to work they shifted things to me that they knew I could handle and if I dropped a ball, they just picked it up and took care of things.  

So, I still don't know why I chose to go to work today.  I know I'm going tomorrow, too, unless I have fever.  So, I'm going to take my medicine, and get to bed earlier than I did last night, and imagine that the goodness of the rest will make me feel much better tomorrow.