So here's the short of it,
Meandering thoughts tonight.  

And here's the long

Last night I was afflicted by having slept for most of three days.  I couldn't go to sleep until the wee morning hours.  My feet, legs, pelvis, and lower back are achy way into the bone, but not so horrible to be really complaining, and I think it's just the Abraxane and will got away in the next few days. But when I'm lying still and trying to sleep I really do notice it, even with the ibprofen I'm supposed to take for it.  The neuropathy in the bottoms of my feet is as bad as it's been.  I'm being extra cautious - not walking around barefoot which I love, because I really can't feel much, but I'm just mostly being annoyed with it.  My feet are tingly, hot, and have very little feeling in them. Occassionally I get these stabbing kinds of pain in my feet.  It's really strange.  This is mostly in the balls of my feet and the bottoms of my toes. My cough has mostly disappeared since my last treatment which seems pretty bizarre. Of course since I slept very little last night, I've napped off and on all day.  I'm in the place now, since this is my last treatment (fingers crossed), that I need to get that days and nights mixed up stuff straightened out.  So I'll have to start working on that.

This afternoon Mom and my brothers went to church, and afterwards Alan and I met them at the cemetery.  I hadn't been in over a week.  Joyce was on her way, driving down from Knoxville for the afternoon and met us there. Dad's headstone has been placed.  It's exactly right - the headstone that is.  It's also exactly wrong - it really still feels awfully wrong that Dad is not with us.

This weekend Mom and the boys have slogged through a bunch of business stuff that needed to be taken care of with lots of help from Alan and Pat.  Of course, I haven't been able to be of much help at all.  They are taking a look at what to do about her car, her business stuff, and of course, everything that has to be done when a spouse dies. Mom is an amazingly strong woman, but this will be a difficult adjustment.  My own loss of my Dad seems so overwhelming; I can't even imagine the loss of a spouse you've loved and cherished since teen age years, have shared life with, and raised a family with.