So here's the short of it,
I was horribly sick last night.

And here's the long

I think I must have gotten some bad food yesterday.  I started having some stomach distress early in the evening.  By the time I finished last night's blog post, I was really uncomfortable.  I started throwing up soon after and that continued off and on for a couple of hours.  I felt pretty miserable.  I did that old trick that Mom used to do when we were kids, and put a bag right next to the bed in case I couldn't make it to the bathroom.  Fortunately once my stomach was empty, I was able to sleep.  This morning I felt worn out and pretty weak, but I really got stronger as the day wore on.     

All today, I've been really careful about the food I've eaten.  I've had mostly yogurt and tonight some oatmeal for dinner.  I think I'll be just as careful tomorrow. 

So here's the short of it,
The Home Show was fun, and I've got a yucky stomach.


And here's the long

 I sure am glad today is Friday.  I had quite a long and busy day and I'm very glad that it's done and I have the weekend to recover.  Alan and I went to the Home Show tonight.  It's always fun to go and see all the new things that are the "in" thing for inside and outside the house.  It's a fun outing, but after a long day at work and then walking around the convention center, I was worn out.

I'm home now in my PJ's.  We're watching Apolo Ohno go for another gold medal on the short track.  Even though I don't like watching sports regularly, I do enjoy the Olympics.


I'm planning another weekend of R&R.  I'll have no alarm to jar me out of the bed in the morning and perhaps I'll be able to sleep late.  Well, Sophie won't let me sleep really late, but at least I won't be having to get up to go to work.

I'm feeling a little yucky today.  I've had a bit of a stomach ache all day and tonight it's gotten a bit worse.  My whole digestive tract is off kilter and has been since my chemotherapy. Today and tonight it's much worse!  I think tomorrow should be a yogurt day!

home again home again jiggity jig

So here's the short of it,
I'm home from a very good day in Nashville, and I got here in time to watch the Olympic Women's Ice Skating with Liga.

And here's the long

I'm home from Nashville.  It was a long but very good day.  I got to meet our new State Coordinator.  She is a delightful person, and it was good to connect a name with a face.  I also got to see several people that I don't see regularly but have worked with off and on over the last decade.  It's great to see old friends - the kind of people you can just pick up where you left off as though you only saw one another a few weeks ago. 

I had one very lovely experience.  I was in a session which two Hamilton County colleagues were doing, and a couple of times I spoke at their request.  At any rate, at the end of the session a member of the audience asked one of them if I had been ill.  She then came over and introduced herself to me and shared that she was an eight year survivor of breast cancer and that she just wanted me to know that it gets easier.  We had a lovely few minutes that felt quite intimate. It is one of the great gifts that has come to me from this experience - people are so gracious and so willing to share their own experience of overcoming the difficulties of cancer, and the treatments that nearly kill you to make you well. 

It was lovely to travel out of the county again, but it was a good call to only spend one night.  I'm tired; and I think another day would have been too much.  I'm glad to be home.  Liga and I have been having an Olympic date almost every evening when she gets home from work, at least for a few minutes.  We both love the women's ice skating event, so coming home tonight means that we can watch the free skate programs for the medals.  Nice.

So here's the short of it,
I'm in Nashville and so far it's been a good trip. 

And here's the long

I'm here in Nashville at the Fairfield Inn near the airport.  We waited too late to get a room in the hotel where the conference is, so we had to get a room just down the road.  It's really close and it's a pretty nice room.  I'm rooming with Tara again.  We are pretty good roommates - we've traveled together and roomed together for so many years, that we kind of know how to go along and get along.

We joined several other Hamilton County employees for a nice, but late dinner at Ellendale's.  It's a favorite place to go when we come to Nashville. 

I realized today that I haven't been out of Hamilton County since May last year when I had surgery.  It felt pretty exhilarating to get out on the freeway and head out. 

It was a really nice drive.  In the past I've usually been the designated driver when we go somewhere within driving distance.  It was pretty nice to just sit back and relax and leave the driving to Tara. 

There was snow predicted for Nashville.  We didn't have any snow at all as  we left Chattanooga, but when we crested Monteagle Mountain and just began the descent there was this beautiful snow shower -  We could see the spot where the weather changed and the snow just flurried down around the car. We had flurries all the way to Nashville, and it's considerably colder here than it was when we left home.

Shortly after we headed down, we saw an accident in the Eastbound lane.  Because of the high concrete wall divider that goes down the West side of the mountain to separate the traffic lanes, we didn't really see the actual accident, just the damaged steel on top of the wall and the traffic at a standstill.  The traffic was backed up all the way to the bottom of the mountain!

I've already gotten to see two people that I really wanted to make a contact with this afternoon.  One of them is a woman from the state department that we've worked with for many years.  She has recently been diagnosed with breast cancer.  She has decided to have the most radical treatment - she'll have a bi-lateral mastectomy which means she won't have to have radiation.  She won't know until after surgery and the sentinel node biopsy whether or not she will have to have chemotherapy.  We had a good long hug. 

So here's the short of it,
I have an early morning and I'm looking forward to going to Nashville.

And here's the long

I had a very early meeting planned for this morning far on the other side of the county, but I had an e-mail after I got home last night canceling that meeting, so I didn't have to get up so awfully early.  I was really glad for that, because in the morning I have one of those very early meetings on the other side of the county.  I'll have to get up at the crack.  As my colleague used to say, I should have just gone out there and gotten a hotel room.  When we schedule a before school meeting at a school that begins at 7:15, I have to start mighty early!

Tomorrow we're driving over to Nashville for the conference.  We are only staying one night, so I'm  sure I won't wear myself out!  I can hardly believe I'll be away from home for the night! 

My hair is really getting long.  I'll have to get someone to measure it in the next few days.  I have enough hair that my head's not cold when I'm inside, but the weather is still cold enough that really need to wear a hat when I'm outside. It's still just very, very soft, and not really very thick. I can still see the funny growth pattern.  I keep meaning to have Liga take some pictures, but can never remember. 

Late this afternoon I went with Mom to help her take care of some banking business at two banks.  At each of them, Dad was still listed on the account.  As the employee helped us take care of the transactions, one of the things was to remove Dad from the accounts.  I watched as she wrote, "Customer deceased, please remove from account."   I thought about Dad saying not too long before he went into the hospital that he still missed his Dad. I can hardly get used to Dad not being in the world with us.

A Prayer

So here's the short of it,

A prayer post here instead of as an e-mail forward

And here's the long

Today Mom sent me an e-mail asking me to forward an e-mail prayer.
It seems to me a somewhat selfish prayer, but I pray it anyway.
And I am using this forum instead of a forwarded e-mail to send it along.

Dear God, 
I pray for a cure for cancer. 
Amen 

In memory of anyone who has been struck down by cancer or is still living with it.  

 
A Candle Loses Nothing by Lighting Another Candle

Green Bean Chili

So here's the short of it,
Today I started thinking about Green Bean Chili and really missed Dad.


And here's the long

I have hardly been to the grocery store since May.  Liga has really stepped up to the plate and has been absolutely wonderful about doing our weekly shopping.  I've been to the store with her a couple of times, but even though my body was there, my mind wasn't completely there.  Although, sometimes I wonder if I don't usually just go on automatic pilot when I do go shopping.

Anyway, today I went with Liga - I should have stayed home, as our grocery bill has been much more reasonable when she goes and just does the list!  I always find things we "need" that aren't actually on the list.  I was looking for a small bag of frozen peas.  There I was looking in to the freezer section and I saw this bag of Kentucky Wonder green beans.  That's the green beans I prefer to use for making green bean chili - a recipe that Dad and his sisters re-created from a childhood memory.  It's become a favorite, and something that we enjoyed whether we made it here or Mom made it there.  Anyway, there I stood at the freezer section in the Bi-Lo thinking of green Bean Chili and Dad, and getting all misty eyed.  It just comes at the most unexpected times.  It takes my breath away. 

Gene's Green Bean Chili Recipe as cooked at our house. 

- One sweet yellow onion chopped and sauteed in oil until translucent.      

- One pound of ground beef, ground turkey, browned, or TVP or other such meat substitute.  
- One quart of home canned tomatoes (or the equivalent of store boughten tomatoes)
- One envelope of McCormick's Mild Chili Seasonng Mix
- Green beans of choice - frozen or home canned preferred as much as you want - I like it very beany and not so meaty.  Dad liked it really meaty.
- Super sweet corn
- Any thing else you want to put in (carrots are good)

- Saute the onions in a small amount of oil.                                   
- Brown the meat - if using meat or prepare the TVP          
- Mix the seasoning mix with about a cup of water and stir well               
- Put everything in a big pot except for the corn.
- Add water to cover all the veggies and meat
- Let simmer slowly for an hour or two. Add water if necessary
- About 15 minutes before serving add the corn.

Sprinkle with cheese if you wish. 

Serve with cornbread, or corn chips, or whatever you like with chili.

Each year at the First Cumberland Presbyterian Church Chili Cook-off, Gene made his Green Bean Chili and entered it in the competition.  He never won, but it is an absolute favorite here on Tuxedo Circle.

Hand and Feet Cramps

So here's the short of it,
My hands are cramping and today my feet started as well.

And here's the long

I've been having cramps in both of my hands for several weeks now - Lori says that this is a complaint from some people on Herceptin. It' s a funny cramp.   Right at that joint where the Metacarpals and the phalages come together on the little finger, the muscle starts to pull and my hand starts to feel like it's being squeezed.  Then that knuckle contracts like it's being pulled into the one next to it.  I can grab it with my other hand and massage it a bit and that takes care of it.  Sometimes it happens several times in a short period of time.  Today I started having this same kind of cramp in my right foot.  I hate to admit this - but the first one hit while I was driving.  Fortunately it wasn't too bad.  It is a little harder to just "fix it" like my hands because of my shoes being in the way.

I'm so encouraged that I'm feeling stronger and more able to be out and about.  Today I was able to go see our Middle Schoolers who were participating in Canstruction - a pretty cool cooperative competition where a local architecture firm pairs up with a middle school to plan and build a structure completely made from non perishable cans of food.  The structures are judged and after the display period is over, all the food is donated to our local food bank.  For a long time, Chattanooga was the only location of Canstruction that involved students.  In lots of other places it's a pretty cutthroat competition between the architect firms.   I enjoyed talking with the students and watching them work with their mentors.

This evening Mom wanted to take us to dinner,  so Alan and Liga and I joined her. She wanted to go to Chef Lin, a "Chinese" buffet.  Of course we all ate too much. 

Work, Neuropathy, and Team Latvia

So here's the short of it,
Today was a good day, but Team Latvia lost the Olympic Latvian Hockey Match against The Chezch Republic. 


And here's the long

I consider today a great day.

I am able to drink coffee again, so when I had to get up at an ungodly hour to get to an early morning meeting, that slug of coffee got me going just fine.  I felt energetic and got lots of good work done.  I felt like I helped to solve several problems and finished the day with a good plan for Monday.

I'm carefully monitoring my feet.  I've been on the Elavil since the neuropathy first started, so I really don't know if I would have had foot pain or not.  I do know that the symptom that started me on the medication was the sudden feeling that my feet were on fire!  I would take off my socks and stand on the cool tile just to get them to stop burning so much.  I seem to remember that I would wake up from sleep and my feet would be burning. It's hard to imagine it because I also have a memory of just falling into a sleep so deep that I hardly woke for any reason. The Elavil put a stop to that burning feeling right away, and so far that hasn't returned.  I just need to stay aware and not let myself get uncomfortable.  If I do start having the burning again, I'll get right back on the Elavil.  My feet have actually not seemed to change very much since I stopped the medicine.  I do have a few more of those twinges.  I hope that's a good sign that the feeling is coming back!

I'm pleasantly tired.  I got a good visit in with Valdis today, and tonight my beautiful Latvian daughter and I are watching Team Latvia play the Czech Republic in the Olympic Hockey Match.  Soon I'll go to sleep and enjoy sleeping in a bit tomorrow. 

In the meantime, go Team Latvia! 

They just lost ...   we are still fans here in this house.

Massage feels wondeful

So here's the short of it,
Today was a great massage.  My back is so much more relaxed and I'll bet I sleep just great tonight.

And here's the long

Today I went after work for a massage.  I've been going to Kelly at Center Medspa. Her work is really amazing. Like lots of my family I have a real high pain threshold, so I tell her to really work my muscles over.  She works from my head down to the big ligament that runs through my glut - the one that hurts all the time.  Today she worked over my mid back for a long time. She also uses pressure points and works on the muscle.  Today she said she believed me that I have a high pain threshold - she said that lots of people would be off the table from the amount of pressure she was exerting.   In the last fifteen minutes or so, she worked some on my sternum.  She's of the opinion that the surgical work is partly responsible for all the muscle tightness in my back.  Well now that makes sense doesn't it!  I'm going to check in with all my doctors before my next visit to see how careful she needs to be around the radiated tissue and especially the surgical bed.  She says that she can really feel the difference in the radiated tissue! 

I feel so relaxed and at the same time energized after Kelly gets done with me.  

I think that this massage therapy is probably the best thing I've done for myself in a long, long time.  I'm already looking forward to my next time.  In the meantime, I'm going to get out my back stretcher and try to do a few minutes a day on it.  I'm also going to do some stretches every day to try to keep my lower back a little loosened up. 

Feet and medicine

So here's the short of it,
My feet are about the same; I have a change in medication (again), and I'm feeling stronger.


And here's the long

Today while I was in the lab getting my PT/INR done, Dr. Schlabach came by to see me.  We talked a little about the side effects of the Neurontin; I had finally decided that the best way to describe it was like walking through water.  He says that neither the Elavil nor the Neurontin will help the feeling return - only time will make that happen.  The Elavil or Neurontin are to manage pain and I don't really know if I'm having pain or not because I haven't been off them since I first began to have that awful burning when the neuropathy first started. My symptoms are feet that feel asleep and don't have good positional perception.  He knew exactly what I was talking about!  He says that is really pretty unusual for the drugs I was taking, and that the fix is mostly just time. He suggested I come off of both the Neurontin and the Elavil and see what happens.  If I have pain I'll go back to the Elavil instead of the Neurontin.  In the meantime, he suggested that anything that stimulates my feet could be helpful. So my instinct about massaging my feet every night was right.  Of course, I didn't do it every night just every once in awhile.  But I'm going to get more serious about that. 

Also those funky shoes that they sell for the pool that have the rubber nubbies in the bottom - I'm going to look for those as well and wear them around the house. 

The Herceptin routine is going great - treatment # 35 is done!  Lori is just using the butterfly each time - it goes in just fine, today it was in the vein on top of my hand over on the left side. I just have to be very careful not to move my hand and/or arm during the time of the infusion.  That means I can't mess around with any of my cool Apps on my phone.  Oh well. 

There is a Tennessee special education conference going on in Nashville next week and I hadn't even had it in my head that I'd be feeling well enough to go, but the last couple of weeks I've felt so much better.... I asked Lori about going out of town, and she said there's not any reason at all for me to not go.  So if I can get it approved at this late date, I'll be planning to go to Nashville for a couple of days next week.  I won't drive this time, which will be very unusual for me - I've always been the designated driver.  We have a new supervisor at the state level and I'm very eager to make contact with her.  The conference is in the hotel where we'll be staying and there's a restaurant on the premises.  I know I'll get tired, but I'll be able to go to the room and just take a nap if I need to and won't really have to go anywhere.  In some ways it's like another step toward the return to a more normal life.

I'm very tired tonight.  I think it's the Neurontin.  Alan and I went out for dinner with Valdis, and Alan remarked when we got home that I was very chatty.  I think that might have been the pills talking. Anyway, I'll go to sleep easily tonight I think.  By the way, my PT/INR was up? down? anyway it showed that my blood is a bit too thin even though my medication was reduced last week.  So I get another reduction in Coumadin for this week. I have all these charts posted in the kitchen so that I can keep up with how much of what I'm supposed to take. Today I put 5 mg on all my days til next Wednesday for Coumadin.  There will come a day when I don't have to have those charts! 

Reflections

So here's the short of it,

Reflections on snow and losing a father and medication. 

And here's the long

There was no snow sticking (or laying) down here in the valley in the southern part of the county, but I  understand that in the northern part of the county and up on the mountains is was slippery and the mountain schools are running on a snow schedule tomorrow.  OK all my friends and family who live in snowy areas of the world.  We run to the grocery store and buy out the bread and milk just as soon as the first flake falls! By the way, do you say stick or lay.  I grew up saying stick, but I understand that some people especially around here say lay.  

We went to Henry's funeral today - it was such a sobering event.  I'm still so caught in grief for Dad, that the funeral rites went right to my heart.  His children, Jimmy and Sarah are so young.  I think how hard it will be to negotiate those years of young adulthood without a Dad.  I am so glad that my own Dad was there for me for as long as we had.  And I feel so fortunate that we still have Mom here with us.

Tomorrow, is my Herceptin Day - it's treatment number #35.  If my math is right that leaves 17.  Anything less than twenty seems like a short time!  I'm gradually upping the dose of my Neurontin, and I've got a bit of side effects to talk to Lori about before I up the dose tomorrow.  I feel just a little strange.  I know I'll have to do a better description than that to get my point across.  I'll have to be thinking about that tomorrow.  I took Lorazepam again last night - that's two nights in a row.  I'm trying not to take it more than 2 days in a row. It does help me sleep!  That could also have something to do with how I'm feeling as well.

I'm feeling pretty good these last days.  I even cleaned out a couple of kitchen drawers late this afternoon!  Tomorrow, I'm looking forward to feeling like putting in a good work day.

Henry Stoloff

So here's the short of it,
Our friend Henry Stoloff died. 


And here's the long

We lost a dear friend.  Henry Stoloff died on Saturday.  Alan and I went to the visitation this evening.

 
When I saw the e-mail about his passing, for a moment I didn't know what I was reading.  I said to myself, that they'd made a mistake.  Mr. Stoloff (Henry's father) died last spring, and somehow I was trying to think the e-mail had something to do with him. 

Even though we've been to the visitation and seen Bonnie and the kids, I still can't believe it. 

We have another snow day tomorrow.  That means I'll be able to go to the funeral without having to be in a hurry.  I'm sad to go, but glad to be able to be there.

We'll miss Henry.   

Happy Valentine's Day

So here's the short of it,
Today has been a good Valentine's Day.

And here's the long

Happy Valentine's Day!

Today I've been thinking about all the kinds of Valentine's we have.  Of course, there's our mate, our Valentine, the person we've chosen to slog through life with through the good and the bad.

Then there's all those variations.  

Remember the Valentine Box we made in grade school, and wondered if that special someone would put a Valentine in it, or how crushed we were if a friend chose not to include us in those grade school cards.

Then in adolescence there was a special somebody - that Valentine who made your heart skip a beat and if you were really lucky, you were "together", maybe at the Valentine's Day dance or for a special date.

Then of course those first loves.  Memories of first loves and first real Valentines stay with us in some fashion for our whole lives.  I remember when my niece Sarah got married, her sister made a toast to the fact that she and her husband were not only soul mates, but they were also really the first girlfriend/boyfriend either had ever had.  What special Valentines they are for one another.
   
Our co-workers or people who work to serve us in some way or another are our Valentine's in some ways, and tonight as we had dinner with our Mothers we wished the wonderful staff at Elmcroft a Happy Valentine's Day with a sincere wish and a hug.

In our family, growing up, we children knew our parents loved us, and that even though they were Sweethearts and Valentines,  we were also their Valentine. And as we became parents and had our own children - whether they share our biology or as mine, our hearts, we began to understand that it is our children who are our Valentine's forever and it is our job to send them out into the world, not quite understanding how much of our hearts they really have.  

Happy Valentine's Day to all who read this.  In some way if you've shared my journey this far, I certainly consider you my Valentine - you the family and friends of my heart - thank you for all your support this far.

Remembering Dad

So here's the short of it,

Today marked the first Valentine's Day without Dad.

And here's the long

Today Mom and I went to the cemetery.  They only allow artificial flowers between January and April so Mom had gotten some nice artificial roses and had bought one of the "approved" holders.

Dad's favorite flower for giving on any occasion that called for flowers was red roses. I don't know what caused him to love them so much.  If it was Mom's birthday, Valentine's Day, their wedding anniversary, or Mother's Day, you could be sure that Emily would have a bouquet of red roses.  And from the time I moved to Chattanooga, I could always count on a red rose arrangement at Valentine's Day and for birthdays.

So today I went with Mom to take red roses.  It's such a hard passage - each first is so difficult. Tonight Kentucky played Tennessee in basketball.  Alan said it made him miss Dad because they would always have a conversation the day after a game. I bought a Kentucky windsock before Dad's surgery - my intention was to give it to him at the beginning of basketball season this year.

I am so fortunate that I had a Dad like Gene Howard.  I often think to myself, what would Dad have to say about this situation, or how would Dad respond to something like this.  Often I can make a good guess, but sometimes I don't know.

Snow and Patience

So here's the short of it,
We have a lovely snow today, and I am trying to practice patience.

And here's the long

The weather forecasters missed the mark in Chattanooga today.  I've heard that Chattanooga is a really hard place to accurately predict weather.  Anyway, the forecast said that the snowy weather would be going south of us and that we'd get rain.  We got snow.  Here's a snow slideshow from around the area! Of course those of you who live a bit further north will get a kick out of how such a little bit of snow really shuts us down.

We already had a half day of school scheduled for today.  So the buses got kids home safe and sound without having to dismiss early, and the system canceled all afternoon and evening activities.  The meetings I had were with principals and teachers, and so I worked a regular day and the roads were still fine as I came home.

Alan's sisters, Pennie and Myra, are here for the long weekend - Mom joined us and we had dinner with Mommy Anne at Elmcroft this evening. 

I'm feeling pretty well, and I'm really looking forward to sleeping in tomorrow morning.  I plan to let the alarm clock go off and then shut it off and go back to sleep!  Actually, I've done pretty well this week with getting up and getting to where I need to be.  From time to time, I've been tired.  It's too soon, I know, but I'm impatient about my feet.  I'm wanting to have them better right now!  I think I'm still supposed to be working on patience.  I know I've had the opportunity to learn lots of lessons over the last few months, but time and time again I've had the opportunity to practice patience.  As a teacher, I know that when a student doesn't learn the concept or hasn't perfected the skill, it's important to give them more opportunities to practice.  I think this time around, I've got the message. And I know that if I don't get it yet, there will be plenty more opportunities - truckloads full of opportunities to practice. 

frederatorblogs.com/.../got-patience-680x510.jpg

Good Energy

So here's the short of it,
I have pretty good energy.

And here's the long

One more day this week and my energy is still pretty good.  I've been out and about and seen lots of people that I haven't seen in a long time, and everyone says the same thing - "You are looking so good."  And I answer, "Well, I feel good."  I always think though, hmmm... so what did it mean 2 or 3 months ago when people said "you look good!"  I'm not covering my head anymore unless it's cold.  Well, actually I guess I should say, my head isn't cold so much anymore since my hair is starting to come in, and I really don't mind the very short look.  I'll have to say, the hair routine for getting ready in the morning sure is easy!

I started my gabapentin this morning.  I've also decided that I'm going to massage my feet for a few minutes every evening.  Maybe that will help some.  I do just fine walking on good flat surfaces.  Steps are difficult. Uneven surfaces are difficult.  My feet are better when they aren't cold, but it looks like it may be a few more weeks before we get over the cold weather.  I'm going shoe shopping this weekend.  I'm down to 2 pairs of shoes that I can wear!  I've never really had very many pairs, but I think I need more than 2 choices!

One more  work day this week and it is a pretty light day.  Then it's a four day work week next week because of President's Day.  The weather forecast is possibly snow on Monday.  Home on a snow day.  Oh well. 

So here's the short of it,
I'll be starting a new medicine for my neuropathy, and my coumadin dosage has changed. 


And here's the long

Today  was Herceptin treatment number 34.  That means only 18 more! Today it was a butterfly in the right hand. 

My PT/INR is a little low.  That means my blood is a little thinner than they would like.  I haven't skewed it by eating any Kale this week either!  So now instead of alternating 5 mg one night and 6 the next I'm on 5 mg for two nights and 6 mg one night. So we'll see what next week brings with my blood test.  My red counts and white counts got into the normal range a couple of weeks ago so I don't have the complete blood test on a weekly basis any more. 

I spoke with Lori about my neuropathy, and Alan told her that he thought I was somewhat worse this week.  So anyway, I'm starting neurontin (gabapentin is the generic version) to see if that will help.  It's an anti-seizure drug that's used often for neuropathy.  I'll start it tomorrow.  I have to start it slowly and build up.  It does have some possible side effects  -- and diarrhea is one of them.  Maybe I won't have that.  Lori was very clear that if I experience side effects, I should call her immediately.  I'm really lucky to have such a good oncology nurse.

So I have two charts up in the kitchen so I know what amount of what I need to take each day.  It's pretty confusing, but the charts should keep me straight.

So here's the short of it,
I have a funny phone story.

And here's the long

Today was a long day, but I feel so much more near normal after having put in a day like I have done many times in the past.  I started at 7:15 this morning with a principal and her faculty study group that is planning on making some changes next year in their service model.  Then I was just in the "flow" and busy all day.  I ended my day at our central office in a good series of meetings with various people working on solutions for several different concerns. I didn't get home until supper time.

Fortunately for me, Mom called late afternoon and asked us to join her for dinner, so when I got home, that was already taken care of!  I went down early to get a visit in and told Alan I'd text or call when supper was nearly ready.   I sent him a text --- no reply.  Sent another - no reply.  So I called - got the voice mail.  Called again - went to voice mail again.  Called the house phone, which is rarely a personal call - straight to the answering machine.  I kept thinking he must be in the bathroom or talking on the phone, or something.  Anyway he got down to Mom's, and everything wasn't cold yet.  I mentioned that I had sent a couple of texts, and he said he was trying to download some software and that was probably why he didn't get the messages.  Anyway about half way through dinner, Liga called twice - our signal that it's really important and "I need to talk" - so I answered.  Liga said, "Mom, why are you asking me to bring the apple pie, do I need to come home and get the pie, and why are you telling me supper is ready. You know I'm at work!"  I had to laugh.  Actually we all got a good laugh out of that.  I had been accidently texting her instead of Alan.  And no, we didn't have the apple pie, because he didn't get the message!

Several people at work told me how good I'm looking.  Of course, that makes me wonder what they meant all those weeks and months ago when they told me I was looking good?  I've got enough hair now that my head isn't cold all the time, so even though my hair is still awfully short and pretty gray, I'm not keeping my head covered all the time.  Only when it's cold.  So yesterday one of my close colleagues was commenting about my hair and measured it for me. It's 1/2" long on top and about 1/4" on the sides.  The hair I lost first is the hair that came in last and is the shortest!  I find that pretty interesting.

Tomorrow is another busy good day with a very slight chance that we might get some snow that could give us a snow day.  I am such a teacher -- wishing harder than the kids that we'll get a snow day. 

More science

So here's the short of it,

I just read about a new advance in cancer treatment.  I'm fascinated.

And here's the long

Today turned into a pretty long day.   I had a couple of things I had to do this morning and after lunch went over to our main office to help work on checking in state test materials that have to be shipped out to Nashville tomorrow.  Lots of my colleagues had been working all day, others worked only the morning.  I worked until about 6:30 and when I left there was still a small crew there doing the finish up work. 


Mom went with Steve and Pat this weekend for a visit with Lauren, Ryan, and Madison.  Steve and Pat came down with a stomach bug that Lauren, Ryan, and Madison had all had. Mom seems at this point to have escaped it, and she seems to have had a good visit. 

I have my Arimidex prescription, and I've had all my baseline tests done, but I haven't gotten myself started on it yet.  It's not something I'm consciously avoiding, but I wonder if I've got some subconscious thing going on.  I keep telling myself it's just because I still want to ask if I should take it in the morning or at night and then get it into my weekly pill dispenser.  I do admit that I'm a bit overwhelmed at the notion of  five to ten years of an anticancer drug. 

I just read an amazing article about some current research and trials by Oncolytics Biotech based in Calgary, Alberta, Canada.  It's an amazing idea.  There is a virus which will attack only the cancer cell.  The patient can be infected with this virus and it will attack and kill the cancer!  The last time I had an appointment with Dr. Schlabach, he was telling me that within his lifetime, we would probably be able to successfully treat most cancers without surgery.  That absolutely amazed me.  Think how that would change to whole landscape of cancer treatment! 

Anyway I thought about how small the world is - there is a branch of VanSant kin who still live in Calgary (or call it home).  And I thought of how beautiful I thought the city was when I had the chance to visit.  Now I'm even more enthralled to know that there is an environment there that nurtures this kind of research. 

Super Bowl Sunday and I'm tired

So here's the short of it,
I'm pretty tuckered out.

And here's the long

Once again I think I overdid yesterday.  I felt really good and energetic yesterday, but I really never did think I had overdone.  I didn't get overly tired nor did I ever feel like I was doing too much.  Today I know better.  I feel pretty tired, and I've just been achy all day.  My back hurts, my feet hurt, and I've been limping around all evening.  Once more, I just don't know how to gauge when I've done enough and should stop. 

Liga helped me fix up a little super bowl snack - we enjoyed the game and the commercials. Valdis and Kaylie came over until half time, and Mia and Clyde stayed for the whole game. I loved the Budweiser  commercial in the last quarter.  I could watch it every day - well for a week or so.

Today is almost over.  I've got a 5 day work week coming up, and it's pretty full.  I'm hoping tonight will be more restful sleep and tomorrow it will be easier to get up!

So here's the short of it,
I got another massage today, and I've felt pretty good.  

And here's the long

This morning I went back to see Kelly for another massage.  She gave me a good workover - from the pressure points on my head all the way down to the place on my back that causes so much pain.  She is really good! I felt much more relaxed afterwards.

I stopped by Mom's on the way home and got to see Steve and Pat.  They were on their way over to Nashville for the weekend to get in a visit with Madison. She is apparently standing up and just about ready to take off walking at any time now.  Steve and Pat got to see my hair coming in.  They both commented on how good my color looks.  I think I've gotten lots of comments about my color over the last 2 or 3 weeks.  I think for awhile when my blood counts were so low, I must have looked really pale.

This afternoon, I felt pretty good.  I spent a little time throwing things away and straightening up around in the den.  Since I've been sick it's really not had much attention.  A few times, Mom has sent her cleaning lady up and she's cleaned it and Liga takes a whirl at it every weekend, but most of the mess is stuff  Alan or I need to do something with.  I put a dent in the stuff I need to deal with - there's still much to deal with.  Then this evening, Liga and I cooked up some snacky things for the super bowl tomorrow.  Valdis and a friend as well as Mia and Clyde (Dad's cousin and her son) are coming over for awhile.  It should be a nice evening.

TGIF

So here's the short of it,

I am so glad it's Friday!

And here's the long

What a great thing to have it be a Friday evening.  Soon I'm going to bed and I'm going to sleep in a bit tomorrow. Even with one snow day and only a four day work week and 2  half-days of those four at the doctor's office, I'm so very tired.

Today I went in to get some blood drawn at the lab, and they told me that if I had time we could work in the bone density that I need to have for a baseline before starting the Arimidex.  So I did that.  The bone density test was a piece of cake. 

www.nytimes.com/.../1073Bonedensityscan.html

I didn't have to take off any of my clothes - not even my shoes!  Since I seem to have lost most of my modesty once I get into a medical office,  it was kind of nice not to have to disrobe!  I got up on the table and the arm moved down and took pictures of my bones - my lower spine and my legs.  Then they had me spread my legs apart and point my toes in.  The technician actually strapped my feet to a pyramid shaped pillow - I was glad.  It wasn't uncomfortable, but I wouldn't have been able to keep them that way for as long as it took.  Then finally she had me turn on my left side with my knees pulled up.  Then it was over and I was on my way.  It was pretty fast, even though I had to wait long enough that I ended up having to take a half day instead of just running in for a quick blood draw.

Good things and lessons to learn

So here's the short of it

Today was good once I got started.

And here's the long

It was rainy all afternoon and Sophie didn't get any outside exercise  time because I didn't want to walk in this cold drizzle, so she is very active.  I'll see if I can get this blog entry done without having to put her out of the room!  She wants my attention now.  

This was a good day once I got myself out of the bed and going.  My pillow just calls to me to stay for one more alarm delay, and I fall right back into sleep.  There is no getting around this - I'm less and less a morning person.  I'm still attributing part of it to the fatigue factor from the radiation.  Dr. Gefter said it would probably take 6 to 8 weeks to rebound. Once I can ever get myself into the shower it goes OK.  I know I could go to bed earlier, but when I've tried that I can't really get to sleep.  I also really enjoy spending a little time visiting with Liga when she gets in from work at 9 or 10 depending on her shift.  If I went to sleep early, we wouldn't see each other at all most days.

One of my dear cancer sisters came and took me to lunch today to celebrate the end of radiation.  We went to the Mt. Vernon Restaurant; I hadn't been there in a really long time even though it's right in the neighborhood of my office. It was lovely to have some time to just compare notes, laugh about veins blowing out, doctors offices, and radiation hot spots. And speaking of radiation - I think I'm recovering very nicely.  I'm still very red on the boost area, and very tender, but I'm not blistered at all now, and I'm pretty comfortable most of the time.  I am now experiencing periodic sharp pains in the surgical area of my breast.  I have an appointment coming up in a week or so with my surgeon and I'll ask about that.

This evening Valdis came by for me to give him a haircut.  It's nice to see him and have a chance to catch up.  He wanted his hair cut short.  I think mine may almost be longer than his was by the time we were done!  He kept having me go to a shorter blade guard!  I remember when he was a little fellow, he could hardly wait for the weather to get warm so he could get me to buzz his hair!

Tomorrow I have to run by the doctor's office to get blood drawn for a lipid panel.  Thank goodness for those who have gone this way ahead of me and can give me advice and a heads up.  I already have high cholesterol, and apparently the Arimidex can push that number up.  So they'll get a baseline tomorrow.  Then we can work with my primary care doc to see what needs to happen next.  I'll have to have a big note in the kitchen to remind me not to eat anything!

Tonight my feet are feeling hotter than they have since I started taking the Elavil!  This is one of those lessons in patience.  The neuropathy apparently takes a long time to heal, so I get many days to work on this lesson!

Work and Herceptin

So here's the short of it,
A surprise work day and Herceptin infusion number 32. 

And here's the long

Today didn't go exactly the way I had planned.  I have days like that in this work I do.  There was an emergency with a student in one of our schools, and along with some very professional team members, we hammered out a solution for the situation.  However, by the time it was done, I had very little time to get anything else done.

I made it to the infusion center by 3:30.  That went fine today, although I have to say, I miss the convenience of my port.   My first vein "blew".  It's the one that runs along the inside of my wrist.  It's been a pretty good spot.  Today Lori went in about 2 inches up from my wrist.  It felt funny and it acted funny too.  It gave just a little bit of blood, but then it just stopped.  It wouldn't flow either way,  then it blew!  So I got to have that little butterfly needle in that large vein on the back of my hand.  I didn't even feel it go in but I had to hold my hand perfectly still for the whole time of the infusion - I'm glad it's a short session.

We talked a bit about the Arimidex and whether or not I should have baseline lipid panels done.  I'm to call the office tomorrow and see about whether or not to get that done in the lab there or if I need to go to my primary care physician for that.  My great thanks to one of my breast cancer sisters who let me know that I needed to watch my lipids and liver panels.

So here's the short of it,
My neuropathy is still bothersome and my nose is less painful.

And here's the long

I think I might be beginning to have some improvement in my feet. I'm not having so much trouble walking as long as the ground is level, although I still have trouble going up and down stairs.  I'm glad most of the places I have to go have elevators or ramps.  I'm negotiating the few steps here at the house without much difficulty.  I do have some shooting pains from time to time, but mostly it's just the tingling feet asleep kind of feeling.  I feel very fortunate that I'm not having much pain, but the tingling is very difficult to live with all the time.  I don't notice any improvement in the feeling, but I'm thinking since my walking is improving that's a good sign.  One thing I've really noticed is that I do better when my feet are warm. 

My nose is still pretty raw.  Today I was in the car headed to an after school faculty meeting and when I parked, I just pulled down the mirror to check my face before I went in.  I don't often do that, and I don't know what made me do it today, but anyway - I had a small nosebleed!   I was glad I looked! The MD Anderson Miracle Mouthwash at least keeps it from being so painful. 

I've got a pretty busy day tomorrow - ending, of course as every Wednesday for many weeks has ended, at the infusion center for my Herceptin.  I have several questions to get answered, so I'm eager for that appointment, and I'm glad I've got lots to do to keep my mind occupied tomorrow before that appointment.

MD Anderson Mouthwash

So here's the short of it,
I remembered the miracle of the MD Anderson mouthwash.


And here's the long

Today I remembered that for awhile during my chemotherapy I was using MD Anderson Miracle Mouthwash for just about everything.  The problem is that it is only good for 30 days.  It's mixed at the pharmacy and then kept in the refrigerator.  Online I found a website which claims to have the recipe.  Anyway, today I got a bottle delivered and used it on these awful nose sores I have.  One of those ingredients must be a numbing agent, because as soon as I put it on I feel relief.  I'm going to have to get a small bottle of some kind to take in my purse for work tomorrow.  I'm sure it will make me more comfortable.

MIRACLE MOUTHWASH

This is by prescription but this is the recipe:
Benylin 1120cc
Cortef 15cc
Nystatin Syrup 15cc
Tetracycline liquid 30cc
You shake it well. The dose is 10-15cc You swish and hold the swallow.
(Patty Jones)

I enjoyed my snow day.  I didn't sleep nearly as late as I thought I would, but just woke up naturally instead of being awakened by something. I got a few things done around the house and late in the afternoon, Sophie and I went out for a little bit. After our first time around the circle, Charlie came out to play with Sophie.  They are such good buddies - they run together, take turns chasing one another, jump on one another, roll one another over and generally have a good rollicking time together.  Sophie exerts so much energy and is so much more relaxed when she has the opportunity to go out for awhile and she especially gets a good run when one of the other dogs is out.

It's back to work tomorrow and it will be a full day.  I have to not overdo so that I won't be worn out by the end of the week.