So here's the short of it, 
We told Mommy Anne about Pennie today.

And here's the long.


One of the big worries of the last few days has been our pre-occupation with telling Mommy Anne about Pennie.

Mommy Anne's in better shape cognitively over the last few months than she has been in several years. I personally think it's because Alan is so on top of her medications.  However, she has good days and bad days, so it was up in the air about whether she would comprehend what we were telling her and/or how she could respond. Alan had ordered a mild sedative just in case we would need something, but they sent Ativan which gave her so many problems last year. So Alan picked up some dramamine to have on hand.

We headed over to Elmcroft at noon to get there right after her lunch. It probably was the very best outcome we could have wanted.  We took her out to the big parlor and since it was lunchtime in the main dining room, we had the room to ourselves. We sat close together and I held her hand while Alan told her. She was absolutely with us in that moment and understood. She was sad and followed through with very appropriate questions. We had a long talk, she shared memories and her sadness to lose a daughter before her own death. Mommy Anne told us that she wouldn't cry - she'd wait until she was alone in her bed.  I was amazed. She didn't need the dramamine.

Alan will keep a close eye on her over the next few days and weeks to make sure that she is doing OK.  I would imagine that there will be times she remembers and other times it is a more fuzzy reality. We'll all help each other.

I have many life lessons left to learn. Today Mommy Anne was my teacher.